BLOGS
September 2009 Archives
It's a question I wonder about a lot. 2001 was a great year for Kate Beckinsale -- she had both a successful John Cusack romantic comedy and a mammoth Michael Bay blockbuster in Serendipity and Pearl Harbor out, respectively, two terrible movies that seemed to be unavoidable star-launching events. Not to mention the fact that she is one of the most gorgeous people in the history of gorgeous people, and that on top of all of it she can actually act. So, why didn't she become a hugely popular movie star? Or even one of the Awards show ball hogs like Kate Winslet or Hilary Swank? Why did she make Vacancy? Why does she have to be in the unfortunate-looking Whiteout right now, when by all accounts she should be starring in award bait and blockbusters?
Angela Lansbury, Jason Statham and Valentino Garavani walk into a bar. The bar explodes. End of joke. Start of the weirdest week in movies on DVD ever.
If the title of the new courtroom drama starring Michael Douglas and Amber Tamblyn seems a little unwieldy, it's because the movie is a remake of a 1956 Fritz Lang film, and titles didn't have to fit onto a DVD cover back then. It's also a well-known legal term, one that has particular bearing on the movie's plot, which is all about circumstantial evidence and how it can be misleading. In fact, whenever a courtroom drama is looking for a title, the language of lawyers is always the first place to turn, as seen in such films as The Juror, Class Action, Hostile Witness, Trial by Jury, Presumed Innocent and Witness for the Prosecution. We put together a list of legalese words and phrases that we think would make great movies -- and not just in the plain-old legal thriller vein, either.
If you thought Neveldine and Taylor's previous film outings, Crank and Crank High Voltage, were like live-action video games, Gamer takes it to the logical next step. Imagine the kinetic violence and sex of Crank combined with that Chappelle's Show sketch where Dave goes on the Internet, a nondescript mall where Ron Jeremy shows you his junk and people give you free illegal movies, and you start to get an idea of what this movie is like.
Heading out to see a screening of Extract, I was optimistic. I enjoy the hell out of Mike Judge creations (Beavis & Butthead still crack me up, and I could quote Office Space verbatim if necessary). Also, I love the cast -- Jason Bateman, Mila Kunis, Kristen Wiig, Ben Affleck, J.K. Simmons, David Koechner and Gene Simmons. Hell, I was even prepared to overlook the fact that Dustin Milligan from the new 90210 has yet to display any discernible amount of acting talent. But all those things combined could not make an entirely good movie. Don't get me wrong, there were some really, funny, funny moments and the premise is pretty entertaining too, but the movie dragged, and what wasn't amusing was really pretty terrible and even the stuff that was laugh worthy started to grate on my nerves after the same joke was recycled for the fifteenth time.
Who could have predicted that James Cameron's follow-up to Titanic would take 12 years to realize and would be entirely about blue aliens living on another planet? A lucky few got to see 20 minutes of preview footage in IMAX theaters across the country on Avatar Day, but the rest of you have had to content yourselves with the online trailer, which has a lot going on in it, a lot of which looks kinda familiar. Luckily, Omar G. and Pablo G. watched it as well, and they talk all about in in their latest video installment of "Trailers Without Pity"... or, rather, their blue, animated avatars talk about it, which makes the whole thing very derivative. Like Avatar! Check it out below!
You know, considering all of the big TV releases that came out today, you'd think there'd be more big movies out, but it's just not a big day for movie releases. However, there are a few smaller films out today worth checking out, as well as a movie-related concert film and a couple of really nice collections. Also, another Bring It On, but those apparently come out every two weeks like clockwork.
It looks like Disney's purchase of Marvel Entertainment has lit a fire under Fox. After all, they own the film rights to the Fantastic Four, the X-Men, Silver Surfer and Daredevil for as long as they continue to make movies. So, now that it's been two years since the last FF movie, they're getting ready to reboot the franchise. Frankly, I'm glad. The first film was good, clean kiddie fun (except for the fact that Jessica Alba kept taking her clothes off), but the second was boring, had Mr. Fantastic stretch-dancing and managed to make Marvel's biggest (literally) villain look like a rain cloud. Fox wouldn't say what they're doing, or even if they hope to bring back the serviceable original cast, but I hope they announce reboots of the rest of their Marvel properties (and Sony's, while they're at it), because, frankly, they all need it.
Mike Judge's new workplace comedy, Extract, is arriving in (like four) theaters this Friday, and although the movie is getting very mixed reviews early out, it's still exciting. The man gave us Office Space! And now he's tackling the soulless working world of... bottle factories? It doesn't matter. The point is the persistent trailers made me want to rekindle my love for this genre with a little best and worst list.
After Rob Zombie's Halloween 2 was defeated in its opening weekend by The Final Destination in 3-D, the producers of the Halloween franchise revealed that the just-announced Halloween 3 will actually be Halloween 3-D. While unsurprising, given the resurgence in 3-D's popularity, this particular 3-D-ification is a sly homage to the early 1980s, when it seemed like the third installment of a horror franchise -- Jaws 3-D, Amityville 3-D, Friday the 13th Part III -- was legally required to be watched through cardboard glasses. (The original Halloween 3, ironically, passed on the gimmick.) And that got us thinking -- what if all third installments of movies had to be released in 3-D? Some would be awesome, and some just plain ridiculous. Here's some quick takes.
Blog Categories
A Festival for the Rest...ival
25 Entries
Accidents Do Happen
46 Entries
Adventures in Fakery
77 Entries
Animation Desensitization
80 Entries
Awards Schmawards
17 Entries
Box Office Tally
79 Entries
Burning Questions
6 Entries
Coming Soonish
9 Entries
Cool Nerds Guide
6 Entries
Director? I Hardly Knew Her!
156 Entries
DVDs Unwrapped
25 Entries
For Your Amusement (Park)
10 Entries
Foreign Relations
54 Entries
Galleries (and Other Picture Postcards)
23 Entries
Gangster's Paradise
5 Entries
Getting Dramatic
5 Entries
Girls on Film
80 Entries
Happy Anniversary
10 Entries
Hollywood To TWoP: Hello There!
40 Entries
I Voted for GORE!
103 Entries
I Want My DVD
236 Entries
I Want My VOD
24 Entries
I've Got Two Tickets to Merchandise
33 Entries
IMDb Fun Times
6 Entries
Indie Snapshot
57 Entries
Indie, Indie, Come Back Home
40 Entries
It Came From New York
7 Entries
It Came From San Diego
14 Entries
It's a Major Award!
75 Entries
Legal Eaglese
21 Entries
Let's Blame the Media!
49 Entries
Let's Go To The Video!
29 Entries
Letterbox of Recommendations
22 Entries
Lights, Camera... Action Jackson!
184 Entries
Little TV Shows That Done Hit the Big Time
71 Entries
Martial Artistry
11 Entries
Momentous Occasions
25 Entries
More On Movies
38 Entries
Movie Merchandise
4 Entries
Musicalifornication
48 Entries
Obituaries Without Pity
23 Entries
Oscars and Grouchery
11 Entries
Pros and Controversy
26 Entries
Read All About It
5 Entries
Real People, Fake Movies
25 Entries
Remakes R Us
8 Entries
Reviews of Movies We Haven't Seen Yet
43 Entries
Reviews of Movies We've Actually Seen
517 Entries
Scary Monsters & Super Creeps
105 Entries
Sci-Fidelity
151 Entries
Script From the Headlines!
56 Entries
Separate but Sequel
249 Entries
Sequelitis
24 Entries
Shameless Self-Promotion
27 Entries
Sports in Our Shorts
7 Entries
Strike Watch
14 Entries
Stupid Cinematic Celebrity Sayings
34 Entries
Sundance Sundance Revolution
13 Entries
Taste the Reading Rainbow
94 Entries
The Biz
122 Entries
The Casting Conch
192 Entries
The History, Booooyyyyy!
80 Entries
The Kongs of Comedy
206 Entries
Theatre With an "R" and an "E"
11 Entries
Trailer Trashing
73 Entries
Trailers Without Pity
37 Entries
Video Games Killed the Movie Star
23 Entries
We Call Do-Over
177 Entries
We Watches the Watchmen
33 Entries
What's Up, Documentary?
17 Entries
When Animal Movies Attack
14 Entries
You Got Comic Book in My Movie
251 Entries
You Know, For Kids!
132 Entries