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Movies Without Pity
I Want My DVD: Tuesday, September 15, 2009

Scary monsters. Super creeps. Sienna Miller. All are represented in this week's new movies on DVD, as wolverines, wolfmen, zombies and overrated actresses stalk the moors. And by moors, we mean Best Buy.

X-Men Origins: Wolverine
An X-Men movie with Hugh Jackman, Ryan Reynolds, Liev Schreiber and Dominic Monaghan? The ladies and the fanboys were lined up around the block to see this flashback prequel to the X-Men trilogy, especially since Brett Ratner's third installment made going forward in time a dicey proposition. And it didn't disappoint, although it did take some liberties with characters, but that's a small crime compared to what Ratner did to some of his supporting characters (and leads). Presumably both post-credits endings are here, to set up the next Wolverine movie and the hypothetical Deadpool movie.

The Wolf Man (Special Edition)
Benicio Del Toro's remake, The Wolfman, may have been delayed until next year, but you can still pick up the special edition of the original, classic werewolf film starring Lon Chaney Jr., who's name-checked in Warren Zevon's "Werewolves of London." Or, you can pick up the special edition of An American Werewolf in London, whose title may or may not have been inspired by the Zevon song. It's a win-win!

Easy Virtue
Overseas, this movie is known as An American Widow in England, and Jessica Biel's character is ostracized by her in-laws for her lycanthropic tendencies. Also, Colin Firth is a mummy.

Deadgirl
This horror film, about two teenage boys who discover a dead girl in an abandoned hospital and think about keeping her when they find out she's alive, looks frickin' gut-wrenching. Conversely, Camille, a comedy about a girl (Sienna Miller) who looks fine after a motorcycle accident but turns out to be dead, merely looks nauseating.

Nightwatching
Movies about people painting pictures usually put me to sleep just thinking about them, but this one, about Rembrandt painting "Night Watch," a.k.a. "The Company of Frans Banning Cocq and Willem van Ruytenburch," looks like it might actually have a murder plot. And it stars Tim/Jim from the British Office, whose simulated sex in Love Actually probably helped prepare him for this role.

Also out this week:
Next Day Air Damn you, Mos Def, for making us care about this movie.
Trumbo It may sound like a Disney cartoon, but it's totally not. We learned that the hard way.
Knights of Bloodsteel Do the knights get paid more in a town called "Bloodsteel" than they do in a town called "Honeysuckle"?
Army of Darkness: The Screwhead Edition "All right, you primitive screwheads, listen up -- stop buying new editions of this movie! I mean, how many do you need?!"

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