BLOGS
You know what's almost the same thing as The Fourth Kind only way, way better? The Blair Witch Project. And The Blair Witch Project is terrible. There are so many problems with The Fourth Kind, despite a grand total of two decent jumpy scares, I'm having difficulty organizing them all to present to you. But you need to know! Basically, to quote a wise tween I overheard walking out of my screening, "That shit? Was whack." That kid is a poet and a prophet, my friends. You don't even know. Let's get into it.
First of all, the movie's gimmick is that it's really two movies -- one is "real" archival footage of the film's events; the other is Milla Jovovich and Colonel Dubaku from 24's reenactment of that "real" archival footage. Sometimes the two depictions are split-screened together and played simultaneously, I guess to show us how hard Casey from Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (he's in this too) worked on his impression of the Real Life Psychiatrist (not a real life psychiatrist) his character was based on, but other times they just switched off screen time. That decision is a failure on many fronts. Even if the "real" archival footage hadn't already been pretty much proven to be completely fake by the press -- which it has -- it still seems pointless. Either go full-on Blair Witch and show me a fake documentary, or go full-on scripted and show me a horror film I can get invested in without having to switch gears from "fake" to "real (but also fake)" all the time. Furthermore, since I knew going in that the archival footage was a gimmick, reverting to it every few minutes was a constant reminder that all of it was just pretend. Most movies are not true stories -- I'm aware of that! -- but when you keep stopping the action to reinforce it with something I know to be phony I certainly can't believe the fake reenactment of that already fake footage enough to get scared at all.
Also, that fake footage? Even if I didn't already know it was fake, who would be dumb enough to believe it wasn't? First off, the people in it were so scared (of what, I'm not sure. I guess the aliens finding out they made a documentary about them and suing for slander?) that they insisted their names be changed -- but there faces weren't blurred. Makes sense! Also, the tapes are way too awesome for everyone not to have heard about them yet if they were real. People levitating and speaking ancient demon languages until their spines break and flying saucers sucking babies out of ceilings and crap, all caught on tape? Sure, I believe that's been under wraps until Milla Jovovich decided to show it the world.
And there are other little things at every turn that don't add up. The aliens speak the ancient language of Sumerian, even though they understand English, yet they never choose to communicate in English? Because Sumerian is scarier, I guess? Even though no one in the whole world except one guy at a university somewhere can translate it? Sometimes the aliens have very harsh and urgent words of warning to give, yet they choose to do so in a language their audience can't comprehend, even though they speak that audience's language and really seem like they ought to be smart enough to realize that. Just alien stuff!
There's also this awful, really irritating bad actor sheriff who functions as the guy who doesn't believe in anything, which I guess is necessary, but his whole character is negated in a scene where he keeps shouting at Milla that he doesn't believe in her psychologist mumbo jumbo black magic, but then turns around and accuses of her hypnotizing a guy into murdering his entire family two seconds later. Hypnotizing someone into murdering their children? You are a skeptic, sir! You either believe in the mind magic are you don't, sheffer. Make up your mind over there, screenwriter.
But the screenwriter never makes up his mind. About anything. Because this movie is awful. I like Milla as much as the next Zach Oat, but you'd really be better off renting Resident Evil 3 than paying (in this economy!) to see this.
Did you see it? Commiserate, please!
Also, that fake footage? Even if I didn't already know it was fake, who would be dumb enough to believe it wasn't? First off, the people in it were so scared (of what, I'm not sure. I guess the aliens finding out they made a documentary about them and suing for slander?) that they insisted their names be changed -- but there faces weren't blurred. Makes sense! Also, the tapes are way too awesome for everyone not to have heard about them yet if they were real. People levitating and speaking ancient demon languages until their spines break and flying saucers sucking babies out of ceilings and crap, all caught on tape? Sure, I believe that's been under wraps until Milla Jovovich decided to show it the world.
And there are other little things at every turn that don't add up. The aliens speak the ancient language of Sumerian, even though they understand English, yet they never choose to communicate in English? Because Sumerian is scarier, I guess? Even though no one in the whole world except one guy at a university somewhere can translate it? Sometimes the aliens have very harsh and urgent words of warning to give, yet they choose to do so in a language their audience can't comprehend, even though they speak that audience's language and really seem like they ought to be smart enough to realize that. Just alien stuff!
There's also this awful, really irritating bad actor sheriff who functions as the guy who doesn't believe in anything, which I guess is necessary, but his whole character is negated in a scene where he keeps shouting at Milla that he doesn't believe in her psychologist mumbo jumbo black magic, but then turns around and accuses of her hypnotizing a guy into murdering his entire family two seconds later. Hypnotizing someone into murdering their children? You are a skeptic, sir! You either believe in the mind magic are you don't, sheffer. Make up your mind over there, screenwriter.
But the screenwriter never makes up his mind. About anything. Because this movie is awful. I like Milla as much as the next Zach Oat, but you'd really be better off renting Resident Evil 3 than paying (in this economy!) to see this.
Did you see it? Commiserate, please!
TAGS: Milla Jovovich, The Fourth Kind
Sponsored Links
10 Comments
Loading...
Add a comment
MOST RECENT POSTS
Today's TWoP News: Monday, January 23, 2012
Movies Without Pity Awards Week 3: Alien Invasion
Downton Abbey: The Manor's Worst Kept Secrets
House of Lies: Size Does Matter
Monday, January 23, 2012: The Bad Girls Club
What Pan Am Taught Us About the '60s This Week
Sunday, January 22, 2012: A Cinderella Story: Once Upon a Song
Today's TWoP News: Friday, January 20, 2012
BLOG ARCHIVES
The Moviefile
January 2012
13 Entries
December 2011
27 Entries
November 2011
22 Entries
October 2011
22 Entries
September 2011
29 Entries
August 2011
27 Entries
July 2011
30 Entries
June 2011
25 Entries
May 2011
13 Entries
April 2011
23 Entries
March 2011
22 Entries
February 2011
33 Entries
January 2011
39 Entries
December 2010
21 Entries
November 2010
29 Entries
October 2010
23 Entries
September 2010
25 Entries
August 2010
26 Entries
July 2010
29 Entries
June 2010
36 Entries
May 2010
22 Entries
April 2010
26 Entries
March 2010
30 Entries
February 2010
19 Entries
January 2010
19 Entries
December 2009
15 Entries
November 2009
21 Entries
October 2009
27 Entries
September 2009
30 Entries
August 2009
28 Entries
July 2009
34 Entries
June 2009
27 Entries
May 2009
24 Entries
April 2009
23 Entries
March 2009
18 Entries
February 2009
30 Entries
January 2009
56 Entries
December 2008
51 Entries
November 2008
61 Entries
October 2008
102 Entries
September 2008
86 Entries
August 2008
99 Entries
July 2008
116 Entries
June 2008
95 Entries
May 2008
86 Entries
April 2008
67 Entries
March 2008
14 Entries
Television Without Pity • © 2012 Bravo Media LLC • A Division of NBCUniversal •
Why can't reviews in newspapers be more like this? Maybe I'd actually read them! :D
The Blair Witch Project was great
I, too, thought The Blair Witch Project was great...does that mean I'd like THE FOURTH KIND?
"Why can't reviews in newspapers be more like this? Maybe I'd actually read them!"
You can't be serious. This isn't a review - it's just an exercise in snarky.
I agree with Eric, this is not a review, this is a woman not even TRYING to see two sides to the story, just trying to be funny on the internet & slandering a film she obviously does not care about researching in greater depth or even attempting to understand why it might have some validity.
I am unbiased on this movies credibility, HOWEVER the reason this archived footage may not be available anywhere is for the simple reason that Psychologists are not allowed to release their videotapes to the public as they can risk going to prison.
They are allowed to release them IF they are given written consent by the patient/s involved and if they then go through gaining permission to have it shown to the public, if this IS in fact real then perhaps you could consider that Tommy shot his wife & children then turned the gun on himself because of what he had seen? Therefore making it acceptable for his tape to be shown.
"First off, the people in it were so scared (of what, I'm not sure. I guess the aliens finding out they made a documentary about them and suing for slander?)"
Are you serious? You don't think it's capable to be fearful of something under hypnosis?
If you were trying to be both opinionated and funny, it didn't work.
Whatever they MIGHT have seen IF the footage is real, it is common that they experienced fear as extreme fear is something that would usually occur if it's a memory you repress, physical and sexual abuse victims repress memories, so do military men & women suffering from PTSD.
"They insisted their names be changed -- but there faces weren't blurred. Makes sense!"
Your intelligence may not be able to comprehend this, but faces are nearly impossible to trace from the states, the UK & other continents rather than how easy a NAME is to trace, i would rather my face be used on the big screen for a documentary than give out my name to MILLIONS of people viewing it, the world has some very disturbing individuals within it and giving them a name gives them an opportunity to get in contact & find out a hell of alot about you.
You're not giving a review on a movie, you're just bitching about it to the masses expecting nothing but praise and agreement instead of a conflicting opinion.
But i will say that the film is insulting to the intelligence, it is INCREDIBLY ironic that the key parts of this film that are meant to impress the viewer and help prove the existence of the unexplainable are blurred out and distorted, it just seems like one of those increasingly irritating factors of a film that claims to have evidence and then reveal they seriously embellished the truth, misleading the audience and no amount of CGI on the "real" Abigail Tyler's eyes to make her look more alien will change that.
This film does not prove the existence of aliens at all, however it is a good use of your money if you want to leave the cinema with a disturbing feeling and perhaps a little creeped out if only because of the demeanor of the actress portraying the real Abigail Tyler (unless it is herself, in which case it's creepier that someone can look and act that way).
All in all i'm disappointed in the woman reviewing this and in part disappointed in the movies validity of archival footage, but i praise it as a thriller/horror movie.
Wooow... Tom, you need more friends and public places. Then you may learn how to NOT be such a prick.
It's very unfair to browbeat a critic over a movie that really was BAD. And this movie was, trust me. The only real scares it forced out of me was the who Summerian, demonesque setting. It wasn't even the friggen aliens that got me all creeped out.
Ultimately, this movie fails. Kind of like Tom's long-winded comment.
What, you get bored with verbally abusing your spouse?
To all the people upset by the 'snark',
That's what this website does. It even tells you that! Snark is what these people do best. Don't like it? Go some place else. It's kinda silly to complain about something like that.
Tom, this is why MySpace is dying.
The quality of the movie was far from top notch; however, the movie is based on real life occurrences that people from all over the continent seem to have in common. it is freedom of mind to believe or not believe..unfamiliar or the misunderstood can cause a fear unknown to some. This movie is far from fiction. The characters, I dont know if they all are actors or what..I could care less..love, wisdom, knowledge, peace, and understanding for us all. Thank you for allowing my comment
I liked Tom's comments. I also like the movie, it did what it was suppose to, which im my opinion was to creep me out. Whether based on fact or fiction, that determination is left up to the viewer. I will agree with Bella, there is numerous accounts made by individuals, which leaves the debate still in question. Lastly, myspace dying is a good thing.
The movie is real! There is more proof that it is rather than not, do your homework properly please. The sumer and the sumerian language do really exist, maybe you believe in creationism too. People once thought the world was flat. Aliens do exist. The bible was written to keep people in line and I did not come from a monkey there is more to life than you know.