Night at the Museum: Battle of the Smithsonian (Monkey Mischief 2-pack)
With great, great reluctance, I will admit that the first Night at the Museum was entertaining, despite the presence of Ben Stiller and Robin Williams, who I normally consider the enemies of good movies. (With rare exceptions.) But the number of actors they roped into wasting their time in this sprawling sequel is nothing short of unconscionable. What the hell is Amy Adams doing in this thing? Seriously, I can understand frequent Stiller collaborator Hank Azaria and anything-for-a-paycheck Jonah Hill, but Adams is too good for this movie. And while Bill Hader made the movie infinitely more watchable for me, Christopher Guest pretty much just stood around as Ivan the Terrible-- I'm sorry, "Ivan the Awesome." Couldn't he have been making another delightful film with Jane Lynch? Still, if you like the ridiculousness of the first movie -- modern art comes to life this time, and they go inside paintings -- you'll love this movie, and you'll probably want the bonus DVD with more capuchin monkey-related adventures.

Terminator Salvation
Well, it was certainly a better movie than Terminator 3, and it certainly had some amazing action sequences, but you really can't think about the plot too much, or the whole thing goes to Hell in a handbasket. If you want more footage, which is unfathomable to us, you'll want to get the director's cut, which has an additional 3 minutes of footage, including Moon Bloodgood with her shirt off and we assume some choice swears. It's available on Blu-ray everywhere, but it's only on DVD at Target. Target acquired!

Silent Night, Deadly Night III, IV and V
The sheer number of holiday-related horror movies is enough to give anyone pause. Black Christmas, Santa's Slay, Jack Frost, Christmas Evil, The Gingerdead Man... There are almost as many Christmas slasher flicks as there are Halloween ones! Is it the bearded man entering your house? Is that what does it? Complete the collection started with your SNDN 1 & 2 budget pack with this boxed set.

A Christmas Tale (Criterion Collection)
While not a horror movie, this French film does star Catherine Deneuve as the matriarch of a troubled family, including the bad guy from Quantum of Solace as her son. Apparently, he borrowed a lot of money from his sister and used it to try to kill James Bond.

Paper Heart
Enjoy your 15 minutes of fame, Charlyne Yi. Because they are almost up, if they ever existed in the first place. You too, Michael Cera.

The Rolling Stones: Gimme Shelter (Criterion Collection)
Since a person actually died during the filming of this documentary, does this qualify as a snuff film? Or would one of the actual Stones need to die?

Also out this week:
Deadline Brittany Murphy writes in a house haunted by Marc Blucas and Thora Birch. Dullest ghosts ever.
Live! A satirical mockumentary about a Russian Roulette game show starring Eva Mendes? Pass.
Into the Storm Brendan Gleeson plays famed British prime minister "Mad-Eye" Churchill.
The Girl in the Park Sigourney Weaver loses her daughter. Keri Russell and Kate Bosworth are there.
The Jazz Singer: 30th Anniversary Edition Isn't the gift of Neil Diamond worth two hours' salary?
Brooklyn Heist It's official: Danny Masterson has turned to a life of crime. Or, rather, heist comedies. Which should be illegal, by the way.