The Princess and the Frog (Blu-ray/DVD Combo)
Three discs, two formats, two frogs and one new princess to add to the growing ranks of Disney Princesses! As the first African-American Princess, Tiana starts out as a hard-working New Orleans waitress who's saving up to open her own restaurant. Naturally, a Maldonian prince has arrived in town to seek his fortune, and he falls prey to a traitorous assistant and a skull-faced voodoo master, who looks like Papa Shango and sounds like Keith David, mostly because he is Keith David. If that's not enough for you, Tiana's mom sounds like Oprah Winfrey, and local businessman "Big Daddy" La Bouff sounds like John Goodman. You know it has a happy ending just like you know that animals will sing and play musical instruments, but don't we all deserve a happy ending once in a while? ...Don't answer that.

The Twilight Saga: New Moon
"Psst. Hey, you. Yeah, you, the one thinking about buying the new Twilight movie on DVD. That stuff's all fake, man. Bogus. Made-up. None of that stuff happens in Forks, man -- hell, it ain't even filmed there! Naw, what you need is Twilight in Forks: Saga of the Real Town. It's a documentary that interviews the people who live in the real Forks, including the chief of police, an old Native American, an Alice role-player and a girl who works at the corner store who looks a little bit like Kristen Stewart. This is the real deal here, man. Twelve bucks."

Ninja Assassin
Ninjas! Assassins! Sure the movie title is a little redundant, but would you have paid to see Ninja Pacifist? Because that's pretty much what this movie is about, a ninja who doesn't want to kill people any more after his first kill goes wrong and escapes his clan. That's not to say that he doesn't kill people -- he kills a lot of people, he just isn't particularly happy about it, although that may have more to do with the severe injuries he sustains in every lopsided ninja battle. Luckily, he can heal himself with his mind. With his mind! (It's a ninja fact!) Basically, this is the greatest action movie ever made.

Did You Hear About the Morgans?
You did? Good, because we're assuming that means you won't be renting it or watching it. Because it looks like a walking cliché that no amount of Sam Elliott or Elisabeth Moss can make right.

Armored
Does the presence of Milo Ventimiglia, Lawrence Fishburne and Amaury Nolasco make this a HISMSH movie? Yes it does.

Broken Embraces
The latest from Pedro Almodovar is a tribute to making movies. It's like Be Kind, Rewind... you know, if it were made by Pedro Almodovar.

Brief Interviews With Hideous Men
In John Krasinski's directing debut, a woman (Julianne Nicholson) interviews John Krasinski, Chris Meloni, Bobby Cannavale, Will Forte, Will Arnett, Timothy Hutton and more to find out why men are A-holes. Good luck with that!

Also out this week:
Astro Boy Hey, what's Kristen Bell been up to? Oh, this.
The Fourth Kind We hope Milla Jovovich didn't really think this was based on actual events.
Bandslam Warning: Not a porno about music groupies. You're thinking of Rockbang.
Order of Chaos Milo Ventimiglia plays a man slowly ruining another man's life. So it's like watching Heroes?
High Life Before Timothy Olyphant becomes a TV lawman again, let's watch him rob a bank!
Wonderful World It's nice to see Matthew Broderick getting good buzz. We may even watch this one!