BLOGS
Cementing his love of the offbeat, Tim Burton -- along with his 9 partner Timur Bekmambetov -- has announced that he will produce a film adaptation of the just-released book Abraham Lincoln, Vampire Hunter. The screenplay will be written by the book's author, Seth Grahame-Smith, who also wrote Pride and Prejudice and Zombies, which is also being made into a movie (albeit one directed by Natalie Portman). While former presidents have been used as great comedic devices in past films, (Bill & Ted's Excellent Adventure, Dick), rarely do their biopics stray too far from the recorded histories. We'd love to see more movies like this, ones that take our favorite historical figures and have them do more exciting stuff than attend state dinners. Here are a few suggestions for former presidents.
John F. Kennedy and the Knights of the Round Table
Mystically transported from his metaphorical Camelot to the actual Camelot, JFK becomes a favorite of King Arthur due to his eloquent speech, his affable manner and his skill with a broadsword. When Arthur is betrayed, JFK must assume leadership of the knights in order to root out the traitor and defeat the advancing barbarian hordes.
Teddy Roosevelt: Galaxy Ranger
In an alternate timeline, where our technological achievement advanced at a much more rapid pace, humanity had resolved their differences and settled other planets by the end of the 19th century. But while there was peace on Earth, there was war among the stars! In 1898, Earth was attacked by invading Andromedans, and Earth declared war, planning an attack on the closest Andromedan base, a moon of Jupiter dubbed "Cuba 2." Loading an all-volunteer army of rocketeers onto his interplanetary rocketship Texas, Lt. Col. Teddy Roosevelt set out to drive the Andromedans off of Cuba 2 and back to their own galaxy where they belonged.
Thomas Jefferson, NYPD
When his partner is killed, a veteran police officer is paired with a young, chronologically displaced Jefferson, who wants to clean up the streets as much as he wants independence from Britain.
William Taft and the Bath Tub Time Machine
When America's fattest president gets stuck in the White House bathtub and cannot be freed, he hires noted scientist Nikola Tesla to make his bathtub as mobile as any wheelchair. However, Tesla gives the tub the ability to travel forward and backward in time as well as up and down stairs, making Taft one of the most successful presidents of all time and leading America into a new era of peace and prosperity. But when evil 1980s Soviet generals find out about Taft's time machine, they decide to steal it in order to cripple their enemy when it is unable to fight back.
I Am Nixon
When a plague is unleashed on Washington D.C. by Chinese militants in 1972, Richard Nixon is among the few residents who find themselves immune. The rest die, but an equally small group turn into bloodthirsty mutants. After gathering the survivors in his fortified White House, Nixon must lead his remaining constituents across the river to the safety of Virginia, avoiding mutants and a Chinese assassination squad along the way.
For alternate-reality presidential action, we also recommend the comic books The New Adventures of Abraham Lincoln and Tales from the Bully Pulpit. What presidents would you like to see kicking ass in a big-screen blockbuster?
BLOG ARCHIVES
The Moviefile
February 2013
11 Entries
January 2013
16 Entries
December 2012
21 Entries
November 2012
19 Entries
October 2012
20 Entries
September 2012
19 Entries
August 2012
19 Entries
July 2012
17 Entries
June 2012
24 Entries
May 2012
21 Entries
April 2012
22 Entries
March 2012
26 Entries
February 2012
24 Entries
January 2012
25 Entries
December 2011
27 Entries
November 2011
22 Entries
October 2011
22 Entries
September 2011
29 Entries
August 2011
27 Entries
July 2011
30 Entries
June 2011
25 Entries
May 2011
13 Entries
April 2011
23 Entries
March 2011
22 Entries
February 2011
33 Entries
January 2011
39 Entries
December 2010
21 Entries
November 2010
29 Entries
October 2010
23 Entries
September 2010
25 Entries
August 2010
26 Entries
July 2010
29 Entries
June 2010
36 Entries
May 2010
22 Entries
April 2010
26 Entries
March 2010
30 Entries
February 2010
19 Entries
January 2010
19 Entries
December 2009
15 Entries
November 2009
21 Entries
October 2009
27 Entries
September 2009
30 Entries
August 2009
28 Entries
July 2009
34 Entries
June 2009
27 Entries
May 2009
24 Entries
April 2009
23 Entries
March 2009
18 Entries
February 2009
30 Entries
January 2009
56 Entries
December 2008
51 Entries
November 2008
61 Entries
October 2008
102 Entries
September 2008
86 Entries
August 2008
99 Entries
July 2008
116 Entries
June 2008
95 Entries
May 2008
86 Entries
April 2008
67 Entries
March 2008
14 Entries
Blog Categories
A Festival for the Rest...ival
20 Entries
Accidents Do Happen
46 Entries
Adventures in Fakery
77 Entries
Alien Nations
3 Entries
Animation Desensitization
79 Entries
Awards Schmawards
17 Entries
Box Office Tally
79 Entries
Burning Questions
4 Entries
Coming Soonish
9 Entries
Cool Nerds Guide
6 Entries
Cop Rick
4 Entries
Crazy In Love
2 Entries
Director? I Hardly Knew Her!
154 Entries
Disease of the Week
1 Entries
Doc Watch
1 Entries
DVDs Unwrapped
24 Entries
Footage Lost (And Found)
2 Entries
For Your Amusement (Park)
10 Entries
Foreign Relations
49 Entries
Future Tense
1 Entries
Galleries (and Other Picture Postcards)
23 Entries
Gangster's Paradise
4 Entries
Getting Dramatic
3 Entries
Girls on Film
75 Entries
Happy Anniversary
9 Entries
Hi, High School
1 Entries
Hollywood To TWoP: Hello There!
36 Entries
I Voted for GORE!
101 Entries
I Want My DVD
221 Entries
I Want My VOD
20 Entries
I've Got Two Tickets to Merchandise
33 Entries
IMDb Fun Times
6 Entries
Indie Snapshot
41 Entries
Indie, Indie, Come Back Home
38 Entries
It Came From New York
6 Entries
It Came From San Diego
14 Entries
It's a Major Award!
75 Entries
Legal Eaglese
21 Entries
Let's Blame the Media!
49 Entries
Let's Go To The Video!
29 Entries
Letterbox of Recommendations
22 Entries
Lights, Camera... Action Jackson!
177 Entries
Little TV Shows That Done Hit the Big Time
71 Entries
Martial Artistry
11 Entries
Momentous Occasions
25 Entries
More On Movies
37 Entries
Movie Merchandise
4 Entries
Musicalifornication
47 Entries
Name That Tune
2 Entries
Obituaries Without Pity
23 Entries
On the Frontlines
1 Entries
Oscars and Grouchery
11 Entries
Politicking
3 Entries
Pros and Controversy
26 Entries
Read All About It
4 Entries
Real People, Fake Movies
21 Entries
Remakes R Us
7 Entries
Reviews of Movies We Haven't Seen Yet
42 Entries
Reviews of Movies We've Actually Seen
485 Entries
Scary Monsters & Super Creeps
103 Entries
Sci-Fidelity
147 Entries
Script From the Headlines!
56 Entries
Separate but Sequel
246 Entries
Sequelitis
19 Entries
Shameless Self-Promotion
27 Entries
Sing Out, Louise
3 Entries
Sports in Our Shorts
6 Entries
Strike Watch
14 Entries
Stupid Cinematic Celebrity Sayings
34 Entries
Sundance Sundance Revolution
13 Entries
Swords and Sorcerers
2 Entries
Taste the Reading Rainbow
93 Entries
Tears in Heaven
1 Entries
The Art of the Cannes
6 Entries
The Biz
122 Entries
The Casting Conch
192 Entries
The History, Booooyyyyy!
79 Entries
The Kongs of Comedy
199 Entries
Theatre With an "R" and an "E"
11 Entries
Things to Know
1 Entries
Things We Learned
1 Entries
Time Tripping
1 Entries
Top of the
1 Entries
Top of the MWoP
5 Entries
Trailer Trashing
72 Entries
Trailers Without Pity
37 Entries
Video Games Killed the Movie Star
23 Entries
Watching Movies With Kids
4 Entries
We Call Do-Over
177 Entries
We Watches the Watchmen
33 Entries
What's Up, Documentary?
17 Entries
When Animal Movies Attack
13 Entries
YA Wasteland
3 Entries
You Got Comic Book in My Movie
249 Entries
You Know, For Kids!
132 Entries
Comments