The Runaways: Other Biopics That Tween Casting Could Ruin This Friday welcomes the release of the Runaways biopic, cleverly titled The Runaways, with Twilight stars Kristen Stewart and Dakota Fanning in the lead roles as Joan Jett and Cherie Currie, respectively. And while the movie actually looks like a lot of fun, that casting has been hilarious since the day it was announced. If this movie makes money and spawns a trend, we could have a whole pipeline full of tween-targeted biopics of people they've never heard of coming at us. Here are my predictions and suggestions for future musical biopics the tween audience can hilariously ruin.

Channing Tatum as Tupac, in All Eyez on Me
And it'll only be like the twelfth movie in which Channing Tatum has earnestly danced to Digital Underground.

Miley Cyrus as Janis Joplin, in Cheap Thrills
With the added bonus of Metro Station playing the rest of Big Brother & The Holding Company, and Noah Cyrus as Goldie Hawn in a bikini for no reason.

Zac Efron as Joey Ramone, in What a Wonderful World
Zefron in skinny jeans and wigs = an entire society of tweens needing to up their anxiety meds as soon as the trailer hits. Rounding out the rest of the cast: Taylor Lautner as Dee Dee and iCarly's Miranda Cosgrove as Johnny.

Chace Crawford as Kurt Cobain, in All Apologies
He was born to wear a sweater vest and brood surrounded by candles, Kurt Cobain biopic or not. With Taylor Swift as Courtney Love and Zack and Cody double cast as Dave Grohl.

Justin Bieber as Jeff Buckley, in Hallelujah
Because Jeff Buckley will be their favorite artist by the time they're freshman in college anyway, as is tradition. Plus, Scarlett Johansson has already crapped all over his legacy by putting her cover of "Last Goodbye" on the goddamn He's Just Not That Into You soundtrack anyway. Might as well. With Kevin Jonas as his curly-haired father, Tim Buckley.

Other suggestions? Lil Wayne as Sam Cooke? RPattz as Freddie Mercury? Glamberace as Liberace? Leave them below. They're as likely as anything.

Look at the best and worst biopics of all time.

6 Comments

March 17, 2010 6:54 PM
Ace Steele
Reply

Isn't it obvious? Justin Bieber was born to play DONNY OSMOND in "Crazee Horses" the story of the Osmond Brothers!

March 18, 2010 12:14 PM
Vanessa
Reply

Talk about a stupid article. Cherie Currie was a tween, in case you forgot. Joan Jett was also young. The casting makes sense because the girls look like their alter-egos.

March 18, 2010 12:31 PM
joenoes
Reply
replied to comment from Vanessa

it's not that they're young, it's that dakota fanning and kristen stewart dont exactly ooze bad ass rocker, lol

March 19, 2010 10:54 AM
Carla
Reply

I'm 21 and I would totally watch Chace Crawford as Kurt Cobain. And not because I am such a big Cobain fan.

March 23, 2010 3:48 PM
Duh
Reply
replied to comment from joenoes

that's why it's called "acting," lol

April 18, 2010 11:49 PM
Calms Forte
Reply

I can't stand Justin. Perhaps its the proven fact that he is twelve and has very little talent and he is wealthy. I don't know, it makes me loony to think that so many teens are obsessed with him.

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