Wolverine and Edward Cullen: More Alike Than You Think

Although it's not officially confirmed yet, word on the street is that Twilight: Eclipse director David Slade will direct Wolverine 2. While Wolverine fans worldwide are probably groaning that the director of a girly vampire film may be put in charge of the rugged anti-hero, they should consider two things: 1. Eclipse was one big vampire-werewolf fight. 2. Logan and Edward Cullen have a lot in common. Check out our long list of similarities between the two.

1. Both have been alive for an abnormally long time.
Edward Cullen was born in 1901 and made into a vampire in 1918. Wolverine was born in the late 1800s, and manifested his powers at a young age. Except while Edward keeps gong back to high school so he can live a public life without fear of being discovered, Wolverine doesn't give a rat's ass.

2. Both have retractable sharp bits.
Wolverine has long claws that pop out of his hands. Edward has pointy teeth that pop out of his mouth. Only Wolverine's claws are coated in razor-sharp adamantium, but it's not like Edward needs to bite through machine-gun barrels very often.

3. Both have gravity-defying hair.
While Wolverine's seemingly indestructible hold is likely a byproduct of his mutant power, Edward's lifeless locks must need a ton of product just to stay aloft. Insert "lifetime of celibacy"/There's Something About Mary joke here.

4. Both date delicate women who are averse to marriage.
In the next film, Wolverine will travel to Japan and meet Mariko Yashida, the dainty woman whom he would later become engaged to. But unlike the fragile, matrimony-averse Bella Swan, Mariko is happy to get married -- it's only when she's brainwashed by the villainous Mastermind that she calls it off.

5. Both have rivalries with feral dudes.
Edward has to fend off challenges from werewolf Jacob Black, just like Wolverine's routinely taunted by his clawed and fanged half-brother, Sabretooth. Of course, Black only wants to steal his rival's girlfriend, while Sabretooth wants to gut her and leave her somewhere for Wolverine to find.

6. Both have a keen sense of smell.
Both Wolverine and Edward can use their noses to track prey across great distances, but only Edward has to deal with the problem of someone smelling so good that he has to fight to keep from eating her.

7. Both have been known to fight a bear.
Edward fights bears and drinks their blood to keep his strength up, and prevent him from killing humans. Conversely, Wolverine mostly fights bears to get the best salmon. "This is my stretch of river, bub!"

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30 Comments

August 21, 2010 4:02 AM
JB
Reply

Nothing in this world could be worse than the first Wolverine movie, and David Slade's "Hard Candy" goodwill goes a long way. I say let him have at it.

August 21, 2010 1:55 PM
ZeroForce
Reply

Delicate? Seriously? Wolverine chooses anything but "delicate" women. He's got a Blackfoot cover ops super-soldier on his ledger, and Mariko is a damn oyabun. Any of Logan's exes could break Bella - hell, Edward - like a twig.

August 22, 2010 2:16 PM
Morgan Le Fay
Reply

I can't believe you just compared Wolverine to Edward Cullen.

Wolverine is a certified badass, and Cullen is... sparkly. They're not even in the same league. What the hell..

August 23, 2010 12:22 PM
Uzuri
Reply

Edward doesn't have fangs, one of the many annoying things about the Twilight vamps...

August 23, 2010 1:57 PM
Anonymous
Reply

They're both kind of sad and melancholy, too. Also hot.

August 23, 2010 2:32 PM
N
Reply

@ ZeroForce

Well, compared to normal people, they're not delicate. They still have an alarming fatality rate once they get involved with him, though. Which, since that tends to be most of what we see of them, I guess makes them seem delicate.

August 23, 2010 9:19 PM
Ana
Reply

Brilliant post! I'm glad that someone recognizes that Twilight does exist. Lately is like people want to forget they exist.

To add to the theme I think they are more diferent that they are alike. Edward smells good all the time while Wolverine is smelly, Edward is controlled when Logan goes berserker and mostly Logan sleeps with everything that has a pulse (I hope) while Edward was a virgin that won't put out till marriage. So I think Wolvie as Edward wouldn't be the best approach to the material.

September 25, 2010 11:43 AM
Frontierville Guide
Reply

"I got tired of trying to stay away from you. So I'm giving up." Edward -- Twilight

September 29, 2010 1:55 AM
Talena
Reply

Really? Gimmee a break. Who was actually complaining about the fact that he directed Eclipse. After watching 30 days of nights, I was more concerned that he would ruin Eclipse. Which he did a bang up job of. He does terrible adaptations. The hating Wolverine fanboys can have him. Let him botch their favorite character.

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