I really can't blame Jon Favreau for wanting to pass on the third Iron Man movie. He's already made two really good films, and any sort of arc he wanted to have in the third one was going to have to take a back seat to what happens with Iron Man in the Avengers and what Marvel wants him to do in Avengers 2. So best to leave it in the hands of someone who's sold on the whole "big picture" plan, but hopefully can still deliver the goods. Sadly, go-to sequel master Irvin Kershner is no longer with us, but we came up with a list of name directors with sequel experience who would, at the very least, create a threequel that would get people talking.
Under increasing pressure from SHIELD Director Nick Fury, Stark must prove himself versatile enough to be Avengers team leader, and his fear of failure begins to manifest itself by making him think that his body is slowly fusing with his armor, and that Rhodey is plotting to take the job himself. Also, Pepper Potts spirals into drug addiction and has to prostitute herself to feed the monkey.
Stark Enterprises needs a bailout, but half of Tony's deadliest foes and most ruthless corporate rivals are on the Federal Reserve board, so they turn him down. But when Tony discovers that the deal that tipped them over the edge was sabotaged by someone on the inside, he begins an internal investigation to discover who was behind it, and what they can do to save the deal. Tony spends most of the film out of the armor, following paper trails and visiting the Fed, but he finally puts it on at the end of the movie... to hastily deliver evidence of wrongdoing to a Senate subcommittee before a 2 o'clock deadline.
Iron Man has to track down a variety of giant robots, made with stolen Stark technology, at an oil refinery, a nitroglycerin plant and a Victoria's Secret fashion show. Explosions and boobs ensue.
When SHIELD uncovers a mysterious puzzle box at the murder scene of a high-profile government official, they send it to Stark Enterprises for analysis, and Tony becomes fascinated with the box's complex mechanics, as well as its completely unknown material. When he finally unlocks it, he meets a group of other-dimensional pain fetishists, who turn his suit of armor into a mobile iron maiden, so that he's constantly impaling himself on spikes whenever he puts on the armor. Can Pepper, Happy and Rhodey free Tony from their sadomasochistic control, or will he seduce them to their pervy ways?
Not only would Affleck take over the role of Tony Stark from Downey, he'd also make him be from Boston, so Stark could talk about the "wicked retahded feedback" coming through his computer interface. Matt Damon would play "Rhodey from Rhode Island," his partner in crime, and Pepper would play the long-suffering girlfriend who wants him to get out of the dangerous heroing life and go straight.
M. Night Shyamalan
Tony wakes up in a hospital, and is told that he was knocked out during an alien attack, which he helped repel. Shown to his wrecked hall of armor and told that some of the shape-shifting aliens may have escaped, Tony must reconstruct a suit in a lab that seems strangely unfamiliar. Everyone around him insists that his lab is the same as it's always been, but when he spots an alien who looks like Rhodey hiding on the grounds, he tries to communicate with it, only to come away with more questions. It's ultimately revealed that that was the real Rhodey -- aliens have taken over Stark Enterprises, and everyone around him is a robot in a flesh-suit, trying to get him to re-build the armor he himself destroyed to keep the technology out of their hands. Because robots in suits of armor would be unstoppable.
Under Schumacher's direction, the Iron Man armor will have nipples, supermodels will have speaking roles, and four of the most famous Iron Man villains will be made so ridiculous that they can't defeat Iron Man even when they all team up against him. It will be called Iron Man Forever, and it will make people cry.
Who do you think should direct Iron Man 3? Let us know below, then see which TV showrunners should get which DC characters!
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