Michael Bay (Transformers franchise)
Bay certainly has his supporters, be they fans of explosions, testosterone or slow motion, but the shtick is getting old. It was cute in Bad Boys and The Rock, but Armaggeddon was the beginning of his journey towards becoming a punchline. The Island cemented it, and each installment in the Transformers franchise has gotten more and more ridiculous. We expect the third one, The Dark of the Moon, to end with the moon exploding, and we can't imagine a better note for Bay to go out on.

Dennis Dugan (Just Go With It)
While Dugan has my respect for directing the Marx Brothers-esque farce Brain Donors in 1992, the man now appears to be Adam Sandler's paid propagandist. Happy Gilmore, Big Daddy, Chuck & Larry, You Don't Mess With the Zohan, Grown Ups and the upcoming Just Go With It are all Double-D joints, and while Gilmore has its merits, it's hard to justify the rest of his output (which also includes non-Sandler films Saving Silverman, National Security and The Benchwarmers). If he retires now, perhaps we can get his next project, Jack & Jill, in which Adam Sandler plays a brother and sister, shelved indefinitely.

Ivan Reitman (No Strings Attached)
One of the more painful inclusions on this list, Reitman was responsible for some of our favorite 1980s and '90s comedies, including Stripes, Ghostbusters and Kindergarten Cop. Unfortunately, in recent years, his output has gotten sadder and more infrequent. After his last four features, Six Days Seven Nights, Evolution, My Super Ex-Girlfriend and, most recently, No Strings Attached, we really don't care if he ever gets around to making Ghostbusters 3. Better to call it quits and turn the reins over to someone with a better recent track record.

Uwe Boll (Postal)
"But wait," you may say. "Didn't Uwe Boll already retire? Doesn't he just box film critics now?" You might think that, but no, he still turns out three or four films a year, based on video games (In the Name of the King 2, Bloodrayne: The Third Reich), mass murderers (Rampage, Bluberella) and German boxers (Max Schmeling). We're too late to stop his movie about Auschwitz, but hopefully his rapid-fire schedule will cause him to burn out and retire to the German countryside, where he will torture woodland creatures in his twilight years.

Robert Luketic (Killers)
While we can't blame Luketic for the ascendancy of Katherine Heigl, we can blame him for enjoying her acting enough to work with her twice, directing her in both Killers and The Ugly Truth. Add in Monster-In-Law, Win a Date With Tad Hamilton! and the only-saved-by-Reese Witherspoon Legally Blonde, and you've got a walking, rom-com generator who should be tried for gender-war crimes. Get while the getting is good, Robert.

Robert Zemeckis (A Christmas Carol)
Another '80s favorite, Zemeckis gave us Romancing the Stone, Who Framed Roger Rabbit and three Back to the Futures, but after winning the Best Director Oscar for Forrest Gump, things went to his head. Contact was preachy and Cast Away was schmaltzy, and after that Zemeckis went all-CGI, using motion capture to animate his movies full of dead-eyed, unnatural monstrosities. (While better-looking than The Polar Express or Beowulf, A Christmas Carol was hamstrung by the fact that Jim Carrey played most of the parts.) He's currently in the middle of remaking The Beatles' Yellow Submarine, so hopefully the Beatlemaniac outcry will cause him to enter the witness protection program and open a flower shop after this.

Martin Scorsese (Shutter Island)
Hear me out: Scorsese has won every award he can win, and he's proven himself to be a great director a hundred times over. The psychological thriller Shutter Island wasn't his best work (not that the script or the story deserved his best work), and his next two projects are Hugo Cabret, an adaptation of a youth novel, and the biopic Sinatra, which promises to cover a lot of familiar territory. Basically, it seems like now he's just having fun, and while I won't begrudge him that, I'd rather see him rest on his laurels than water down his body of work. Perhaps he could focus on being a TV producer, and save his Boardwalk Empire from being so inconsistent?

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