The Beaver: Don't Leave Anything to This Rodent

There is something almost charming about a depressed man turning his life around by using a beaver hand puppet (with a silly British accent) to interact with the world. Just from there, dirty jokes about where his arm is most of the movie practically write themselves. The idea gets even better when the guy turns out to be not just a family man, but the CEO of a toy company he doesn't quite feel he deserves to run. As a movie idea, this is the stuff most producers love to get their hands on. Unfortunately, if Mel Gibson wasn't supposed to be making some kind of Bill Murray-esque return to the screen in it, this movie would never make it past limited release before falling into the Wal-Mart bargain DVD bin for college-aged Jennifer Lawrence fans to buy during late night shopping trips.

Some of what makes this movie so bad you can see as the movie is happening: The way the slow story comes to a near halt any time Jennifer Lawrence and Anton Yelchin are on screen together thanks to some of the worst teenage dialogue ever is part of it, and with so little chemistry between them the pair must actively hate each other in real life. Another issue is the ease with which Walter (Gibson) reenters his family's life with the Beaver within a week of being kicked out of his house after two years of depression. There's also director/star Jodie Foster's inability to light a set. And the worst is the flippancy with which mental illness is considered overall, especially as you learn how truly sick Walter has been. This doesn't necessarily make you want to stop watching the movie, it just turns it into a car crash that you can't help but to stare at as it passes by your eyes.

The stuff you don't realize until after the credits roll is what really makes it bad. You begin to realize that having any sympathy for Walter is impossible because his depression is never given a cause, only symptoms. Likewise, you begin to remember all the story lines that never actually were resolved. What will Walter's son do now that he can't go to college for a while? What about his other son who seems to be asocial and constantly bullied? It seems implied that Walter's depression was in some ways genetic -- does that mean that his sons need to be careful? How do you forgive someone who used a beaver puppet on national TV to say that you and your children were nothing but a painful burden? All of this gets glossed over by the faux-happy ending, resulting in a movie that doesn't even come close to justifying its hype.

What are people saying about your favorite shows and stars right now? Find out with Talk Without Pity, the social media site for real TV fans. See Tweets and Facebook comments in real time and add your own -- all without leaving TWoP. Join the conversation now!

TAGS:

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

BLOG ARCHIVES

The Moviefile

February 2013

11 Entries

January 2013

16 Entries

December 2012

21 Entries

November 2012

19 Entries

October 2012

20 Entries

September 2012

19 Entries

August 2012

19 Entries

July 2012

17 Entries

June 2012

24 Entries

May 2012

21 Entries

April 2012

22 Entries

March 2012

26 Entries

February 2012

24 Entries

January 2012

25 Entries

December 2011

27 Entries

November 2011

22 Entries

October 2011

22 Entries

September 2011

29 Entries

August 2011

27 Entries

July 2011

30 Entries

June 2011

25 Entries

May 2011

13 Entries

April 2011

23 Entries

March 2011

22 Entries

February 2011

33 Entries

January 2011

39 Entries

December 2010

21 Entries

November 2010

29 Entries

October 2010

23 Entries

September 2010

25 Entries

August 2010

26 Entries

July 2010

29 Entries

June 2010

36 Entries

May 2010

22 Entries

April 2010

26 Entries

March 2010

30 Entries

February 2010

19 Entries

January 2010

19 Entries

December 2009

15 Entries

November 2009

21 Entries

October 2009

27 Entries

September 2009

30 Entries

August 2009

28 Entries

July 2009

34 Entries

June 2009

27 Entries

May 2009

24 Entries

April 2009

23 Entries

March 2009

18 Entries

February 2009

30 Entries

January 2009

56 Entries

December 2008

51 Entries

November 2008

61 Entries

October 2008

102 Entries

September 2008

86 Entries

August 2008

99 Entries

July 2008

116 Entries

June 2008

95 Entries

May 2008

86 Entries

April 2008

67 Entries

March 2008

14 Entries

Blog Categories

Accidents Do Happen

46 Entries

Alien Nations

3 Entries

Awards Schmawards

17 Entries

Box Office Tally

79 Entries

Burning Questions

4 Entries

Coming Soonish

9 Entries

Cool Nerds Guide

6 Entries

Cop Rick

4 Entries

Crazy In Love

2 Entries

Doc Watch

1 Entries

DVDs Unwrapped

24 Entries

Foreign Relations

49 Entries

Future Tense

1 Entries

Getting Dramatic

3 Entries

Girls on Film

75 Entries

Happy Anniversary

9 Entries

Hi, High School

1 Entries

I Voted for GORE!

101 Entries

I Want My DVD

221 Entries

I Want My VOD

20 Entries

IMDb Fun Times

6 Entries

Indie Snapshot

41 Entries

It's a Major Award!

75 Entries

Legal Eaglese

21 Entries

Martial Artistry

11 Entries

Momentous Occasions

25 Entries

More On Movies

37 Entries

Movie Merchandise

4 Entries

Musicalifornication

47 Entries

Name That Tune

2 Entries

On the Frontlines

1 Entries

Politicking

3 Entries

Read All About It

4 Entries

Remakes R Us

7 Entries

Sci-Fidelity

147 Entries

Separate but Sequel

246 Entries

Sequelitis

19 Entries

Sing Out, Louise

3 Entries

Strike Watch

14 Entries

Tears in Heaven

1 Entries

The Biz

122 Entries

The Casting Conch

192 Entries

The Kongs of Comedy

199 Entries

Things to Know

1 Entries

Things We Learned

1 Entries

Time Tripping

1 Entries

Top of the

1 Entries

Top of the MWoP

5 Entries

Trailer Trashing

72 Entries

We Call Do-Over

177 Entries

YA Wasteland

3 Entries

You Know, For Kids!

132 Entries

The Latest Activity On TwOP