Step 1: Appreciate Product Placement
I'm a tad hyperaware of this stuff thanks to Morgan Spurlock, but there are literally commercials during Jack and Jill that I think anyone would find distasteful. From a marketing perspective, it's kind of brilliant that Jack is a successful advertising executive who works with major clients like Pepto-Bismol and Dunkin' Donuts (think of how much money was pumped into this crap), but then there are points in the movie that have literally nothing to do with characters or plot dedicated to how great Royal Caribbean cruises are and how reliable American Airlines is. You have a choice when you see these spots: Peer into what the future of film financing looks like, or run screaming out of the theater. Both are valid responses.

Step 2: Be One With Celebrities
Sandler has been sticking acclaimed actors into his movies for years, so it shouldn't come as too big a shock that Al Pacino has a sizable part in this film as a highly renowned star who's looking for a sense of purpose in this world and lady luck (via Adam Sandler in a wig). He's not the only celebrity you'll see in Jack and Jill; every corner you turn, there's a recognizable face, be they an A-lister (like Katie Holmes, who plays Jack's wife) or an infomercial spokesperson. Some of them are actually kind of fun -- David Spade makes a cameo in the role he was born to play -- but most are extremely tiresome. Still, if you're stuck, buckle down and try to count how many you spot.

Step 3: Think About Your Crazy Relatives
Hey, we've all got the wacky sister with no concept of personal space, or at least some permutation of her, right? There are itty bits of truth to the Jill character, and she was drawn way nicer than Jack was. There's maybe something interesting to say about that, but I'm not about to actually analyze the merits of a movie that features a CGI bird chugging a bottle of Jack Daniels.

Step 4: Keep Your Standards Extremely Low
To iron down the point of all of this: Expect nothing, make sure there's no one in the theater who will recognize you and allow yourself to laugh. Until the final two acts, it won't be much of a challenge -- again, especially if you like diarrhea jokes -- and for the final 25 minutes or so, you can always think about leaving the theater and telling all of your friends just how much celebrities will do for cash.

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