The Director
War Horse: Spielberg is famous for having a mile-wide sentimental streak -- it's one of the elements of his movies that some love and others love to hate -- and he unapologetically indulges that side of himself in this film (as opposed to his other big holiday release, The Adventures of Tintin, which showcases his virtuoso approach to enormous action set-pieces). Here's the thing, though: when he's on his game, he does it so damn well. Furthermore, the material almost demands that kind of approach. With its heightened emotions and sprawling canvas, War Horse is a grand epic in the tradition of John Ford and Michael Powell and Emeric Pressburger. Spielberg apes that style quite nicely, with lots of sweeping shots of the European countryside and large-scale battle scenes, all set to the strains of a soaring John Williams score. In his hands, this as much a love letter to '40s-era cinema as Hugo and The Artist are to silent movies.
We Bought a Zoo: Refresh my memory: when exactly did Cameron Crowe movies turn into extended therapy sessions? Elizabethtown or earlier? Even Crowe's great early films (Say Anything, Singles, Jerry Maguire) suffered from a certain element of pomposity that seemed to expand (along with the director's ego) over the years. There are a number of moments in We Bought a Zoo where Crowe seems to drop the pretense that he's writing fictional characters and just uses them as a mouthpiece to express his own fears and insecurities. (Crowe's obvious over-identification with his main character, played by Matt Damon, definitely adds a creepy tinge to the way he pairs his fortysomething on-screen counterpart off with a gorgeous 28-year-old with the face and body of Scarlett Johansson.) War Horse is a personal expression of Spielberg's love for movies. We Bought a Zoo feels like a personal expression of Crowe's love for himself.
Winner: War Horse

The Human Cast
War Horse: It's hard to argue with an ensemble that includes such established heavy-hitters as Watson, Eddie Marsan and Peter Mullan, along with talented rising stars like Cumberbatch, Tom Hiddleston and Jeremy Irvine, who plays the boy that becomes Joey's first (and most devoted) owner. But while all of these actors inhabit their roles with authority, the material they've been handed to play isn't all that challenging. Indeed, in some cases, it's downright silly. That's particularly the case with Arestrup, who is forced to carry the movie's worst sequence, an extended idyll at a German farmhouse inhabited by an elderly man and his sickly granddaughter that feels as if it was ripped straight out of Heidi. As the title implies, the war horse is the star of War Horse... the humans are mostly cannon fodder and/or filler.
We Bought a Zoo: Given how annoying Crowe's script and direction are, it's a wonder that Damon, Johansson and the rest of the sizeable cast -- which includes Angus Macfayden, Elle Fanning, Thomas Haden Church and Patrick Fugit -- are able to make it through the movie without the audience actively rooting for them to get eaten by the zoo's resident tiger and/or grizzly bear. (Actually, I own up to gleefully imagining that fate befalling the irritating young actors playing Damon's kids.) In fact, most of these performers are a real pleasure to spend time with, even Johansson, who is more grounded and appealing here than she's been in any movie since Lost in Translation. If there's a real-life zoo out there with a menagerie of keepers this appealing, I want to go to there.
Winner: We Bought a Zoo

The Animal Cast
War Horse: What War Horse lacks in the quantity of animals compared to its competition, it makes up for in quality. According to reports, fourteen different horses were used to play the title character at various stages of his life and all of them are handsome creatures that will undoubtedly hold audiences in the palm of their... uh, hooves. In the course of his adventures, Joey befriends another steed named Topthorn, who gets a moment or two to shine as well. But the movie's craftiest scene-stealer is a duck that waddles into frame on numerous occasions in the early scenes. This aquatic thespian proves so amusing, Spielberg can't resist giving him his own reaction shots. We're starting the duck's Best Supporting Actor Oscar campaign here and now.
We Bought a Zoo: Mee's zoo is really filled with lions and tigers and bears... oh my! (As well as a few snakes and porcupines to boot.) Problem is, few of them are featured in particularly memorable ways. And the fact that Crowe actually uses the euthanasia of the zoo's elderly tiger as a metaphor for Damon's own need to let go of his sorry past (particularly the passing of his wife) further outs him as an animal hater. Someone better call PETA.
Winner: War Horse

The Cheese Factor
War Horse: Without question, high. The Heidi section is the worst of it, but really all of the interludes come with their fair share of cheesetastic moments, from a scene where Irvine gets his untrained horse to plow a field in the middle of a thunderstorm while the entire village watches to an extremely unlikely moment where an English and a German soldier take a time-out on the battlefield to free Joey from some barbed wire he's become entangled in. And then there's the matter of the film's climactic reunion of boy and horse, which Spielberg milks for all it's worth. Some of the sterner viewers will be able to resist the movie's naked attempt to make your eyes water. I'm only vaguely ashamed to admit that, for me, this scene fell into the below category.
We Bought a Zoo: Off the charts. Cheese drips off of every single frame of this movie, most egregiously in Crowe's decision to jam in not just one, but two sappy happy endings. It's not even skillfully employed sentiment as in War Horse -- it's just a big ol' block of cheddar.
Winner (And Therefore the Loser): We Bought a Zoo

The Cry Points
War Horse: I count at least four, including the scene where Joey is sold into the army, the unexpected execution of one of his subsequent owners, the aforementioned reunion and the big coming-home moment. I'm not saying I openly wept during these scenes, but they tugged on the ol' heartstrings in a way I couldn't resist... as much as I tried.
We Bought a Zoo: At best, one: the moment when Damon and his staff look around half-amazed and half-thrilled that their grand plan appears to be succeeding. There's something about the expression of total awe on Damon's face that won me over. On the other hand, this movie's last scene - where Crowe all but begs for tears -- left me looking for the nearest exit.
Winner: War Horse

And The Overall Winner Is: War Horse by a horse's nose. Unlike Zoo, it's a sentimental tear-jerker that won't bore you to tears.

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