Jack Black and Richard Linklater reunite deep in the heart of Texas

Why is it so tough to make a great modern-day pirate movie? The first Pirates of the Caribbean romp came close, but that film suffered somewhat from a super-sized runtime and dull leading man (not Johnny Depp -- the other one, Borlando Gloom). Otherwise, the list of pirate-related projects from the past few decades offers one misfire after another, from Roman Polanski's Pirates to Renny Harlin's infamous Cutthroat Island to that shoulda-gone-direct-to-DVD Veggie Tales feature The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything to, of course, all three POTC sequels.

There's a moment early on in The Raven that hints at the fun slice of historical pulp fiction that the film might have been.

Maybe it's because his day job is starring on a long-running CBS sitcom, but Jason Segel's third self-penned star vehicle (after Forgetting Sarah Marshall and The Muppets, where he shared equal billing with his puppet co-stars (a point of contention for some of us in the audience), often feels more like the pilot for a half-hour television comedy rather than a feature film. In fact, it feels like five pilots crammed into one movie.

There comes a point in the life cycle of every muscle-bound male action hero when he feels compelled to make a movie where he plays protector to one or more young kids. Harrison Ford did it in Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, Chuck Norris did it in Missing in Action III, Arnold Schwarzenegger did it in Terminator 2 (and, to a lesser extent, in Kindergarten Cop) and Jean-Claude Van Damme did it in Nowhere to Run. Heck, even Jason Statham did it once before in The Transporter 2 and that went over so well, now he's back for a second round.

As one of the founding members of the British animation studio Aardman Animations, Peter Lord has watched the company grow from a tiny two-man operation to a full-fledged cartoon factory that produces commercials, TV shows and movies using both computer animation and its signature stop-motion house style popularized in such shorts as Creature Comforts and The Wrong Trousers. Over a decade ago, Lord himself shepherded Aardman into feature filmmaking by co-directing the hit Great Escape homage Chicken Run, and now he's back behind the camera for their latest big-screen effort The Pirates: Band of Misfits, which stars Hugh Grant as a 19th-century Pirate Captain who doesn't let the fact that he isn't the sharpest cutlass in the drawer stop him from leading his crew across the seven seas. Lord spoke with TWoP about how Grant found his voice for the part and whether it's best for cartoon animals to be seen rather than heard.

When will people learn? You never go into the basement.

Like a number of action heroes before him -- Arnold Schwarzenegger and Jean-Claude Van Damme to name a few -- Jason Statham gives (fake) fatherhood a try in his latest vehicle Safe, where he plays protector to a young girl (played by Catherine Chan) who is being pursued by the Triads, the Russian Mafia and the New York City fuzz. But don't worry, Statham fans: being in the company of a minor doesn't keep him from doing what he does best -- delivering epic beatdowns to bad guys dumb enough to stand in his way. On a recent publicity tour through New York (where Safe takes place, although Philadelphia subbed in for much of the shoot), Statham spoke to the press about the way he preps for his labor-intensive action movies, whether he's the modern-day Clint Eastwood and why he and Sylvester Stallone had tons of fun making The Expendables 2.

Guess who's back... back again.

With nothing significant opening in theaters this weekend (we're choosing to ignore The Lucky One), check out your VOD options instead.