Poltergeist Remake Builds on Ancient Screenplay Ground

by Odie Henderson August 20, 2008 4:04 pm
<i>Poltergeist</i> Remake Builds on Ancient Screenplay Ground They're herrrrrre!And they're being remaaaaaaaade!!! The Poltergeist remake has found two screenwriters willing to build their story on ancient (circa. 1982) screenplay burial ground. Juliet Snowden and Stiles White will be taking the Freelings through their latest encounter with ghosts who pull little girls into the TV. The original is a classic that still scares me (I hate clowns...) and I'm disgusted that this is even being considered. Especially since, according to an episode of True Hollywood Story, the Poltergeist series is cursed. Since I can't stop them from making it, I can at least hope CNN's kidnap-happy Nancy Grace has a cameo.

<I>Apollo 18</i>, <I>Shark Night 3D</i> and the Sorry State of Contemporary Horror Movies

Despite a handful of high-profile disappointments -- Green Lantern and Cowboys & Aliens to name just two -- this summer proved to be a pretty good one (box-office wise, at least) for Hollywood. Thor and Captain America: The First Avenger showed that comic book movies are still a draw, Bridesmaids kicked off a strong season for R-rated comic hijinks and a few -- gasp! -- original, non-franchise movies like Super 8 and Crazy Stupid Love actually became modest hits with critics and audiences. But there was one genre that moviegoers resoundingly rejected during the summer of 2011: horror.

From <i>Amityville</i> to <I>Don’t Be Afraid of the Dark</i>: Flip This (Haunted) House

In the Guillermo Del Toro-produced horror film Don't Be Afraid of the Dark, an architect moves his girlfriend and young daughter into Blackwood Manor, a centuries-old mansion that he's trying to restore to its former glory. In the course of their stay, the trio is shocked to discover that this house is -- gasp -- haunted! That won't come as a shock to any of us in the audience; the minute we lay eyes on the manor's dimly lit rooms, Gothic decor and dark, dank basement, we know that there are some serious supernatural shenanigans going on in there. Chalk that up to years of observing other cinematic haunted houses and learning to recognize the tell-tale signs of ghosts, monsters and other creatures that go bump in the night. Now we're putting that knowledge to the test, imagining the way real estate agents might try to sell novice buyers on some famous poltergeist-ridden properties and the things we'd tell them to be wary of.

I Ain't Afraid of No Ghosts! (Yes I Am)

by Lauren Gitlin October 29, 2008 2:46 pm
I Ain't Afraid of No Ghosts! (Yes I Am) As they do every Halloween-time, TV programmer people are unloading a barrage of scary movies this week, and I for one will not be watching any of them. As you might have gleaned from previous things I've written, I do not like being scared. I don't like the dark. I don't like ghosts or anything paranormal -- unless it is a sexy vampire, but that is pushing it people! Call me staid, boring, namby pamby. But if you insist on making me sit through Saw or Hostel or even the vintage shiz like The Exorcist and, like, Friday the 13th, you will have only yourself to blame when I pee on your couch.

I've culled a few of this week's spooky offerings from my trusty TV schedule and come up with fitting alternatives to the horror pics in an effort to combat the shrieky, jittery feelings I get when confronted with the likes of Jason, Freddy, Chuckie and Satan. If you're like me, you'll appreciate this little round-up. And if you're not, you'll enjoy laughing at my wussy ass. If anyone's looking for me, I'll be hiding under my blanket from now til November 1st with my arsenal of rom-com DVDs.

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