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Jerry's Guns

by admin July 30, 2008 3:10 pm
Jerry's Guns A few weeks ago, the TSA confiscated deodorant from my carry-on bag because it was 0.2 ounces over the 3 oz. limit. They didn't want me to underarm the pilot to death, I suppose. Jerry Lewis suffered a similar fate of confiscation. The TSA and the Las Vegas police wanted to disprove that famous Irving Berlinpenned Annie Oakley musical number, "You Can't Get a Man With A Gun." Allegedly, Lewis had one. When his luggage went through that airport scanning contraption, I hope the machine screamed "LAAAAAAAA-DY!!!!!"

CNN reports "Lewis' manager, Claudia Marghilano, says the handgun is a hollowed-out prop gun that Lewis sometimes twirls during his show" and that the gun couldn't fire. The Las Vegas cops retort that if it was a prop gun "it wouldn't be a weapon and we couldn't cite him for carrying a weapon." This sounds exactly like what the TSA said to me before tossing my Odie Odor Repellent into their trash bin. They let this woman get on the plane with a damn lighter and a gut full of Absolut, but I had to go to my client funkier than James Brown. Considering how passengers have been beating the asses of numerous airline troublemakers the past few weeks, Lewis was probably lucky the cops got to him first.

Jerry's gun troubles got me thinking: If there were a show on TV called Celebrity Cops, it would have enough episodes to fill more seasons than Gunsmoke. In the past few days, LiLo got mowed down, ShiBo got droonck flipped his car, and crushed his instrument of self-abuse, and Robert Novak ran over a homeless person with his Little Red Corvette (no, it wasn't LiLo!) People take note! This is what happens when you have too much money and not enough to do.

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