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Crash: The Sequel

by Odie Henderson August 6, 2008 4:57 pm
Crash: The Sequel

If I were a movie star, the one thing I'd get is a personal driver. This is why I don't understand why celebrities continue to drive themselves around town -- and over embankments and under other cars. In the past week, Shia LeBeouf crashed while doing his Tara Reid imitation, crushing his hand in the process, and Easy Reader flipped his vehicle in Mississippi. Don't these folks have enough money to hire professional stunt drivers -- I mean, chauffeurs? Let's check in on our recuperating celebs. I'm glad they're both going to be all right -- so I can make fun of them!

While Transformers 2 waits for his return, Shia LaBeouf is playing another role: Amy Winehouse. According to IMDb, they tried to make him go to rehab, and he said, "Yes, yes, yes." His accident may not have been his fault, but his shit-faced (or should I say "Shia-faced") status certainly was, and the court may want to prosecute him. The article quotes the NY Post as saying, "LaBeouf is still facing a stiff sentence for drunk driving when he appears in court later this month -- and he's prepared to do anything to help his cause." Here's an idea to help your cause, Shia: Get a designated driver!

Morgan Freeman wasn't drinking when he did to himself what I wish he had done to Jessica Tandy in that damn movie. Instead, the actor says he may have fallen asleep at the wheel. After the jaws of life were used to help free Freeman and his female passenger, the gossip tongues started wagging, because she wasn't Mrs. Freeman. Everyone was asking that Madonna song title, "Who's That Girl?" Especially since Freeman just announced he's divorcing his wife. Yahoo reports that Freeman "said that she had offered him a ride home; that they were friends and she had offered him a ride home and she didn't really know the way and so he was going to drive the vehicle." Knowing Hollywood, I imagine this dialogue going down after they cut open the car:

Nosy Person: "Morgan Freeman, are you okay? Ooh! Who dat?!"
Freeman: "Well it damn sure ain't Miss Daisy!"

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