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Cruise Can't Handle the Suit

by admin August 27, 2008 9:39 am
Cruise Can't Handle the Suit Stop me if you've heard this before: Tom Cruise's troubled WWII movie Valkyrie is having problems. The film, which is in the can and tentatively scheduled for release on December 26th, is now the subject of a lawsuit brought on by twelve German extras. E! Online reports the actors were appearing in a "less than action packed sequence in Berlin" that turned into an injury packed tour de force: the actors fell out of an improperly loaded truck. I guess the force they toured was gravity. I know studios are cheap, but this is one case in which United Artists doesn't want to buy something that fell off a truck. It might cost them $11 million.

The extras did their impromptu version of Culture Club's "I'll Tumble For Ya" while the Cruise was away. Eleven actors were hospitalized for broken bones and released, and a twelfth was kept several days for more serious injuries. Their lawyer told a German newspaper that "[t]he studio knew the trucks were not safe. There had even been an internal memo about the railings." Meanwhile, UA is attempting to pass the buck of blame, citing that they are not responsible for the welfare of actors brought on site by its German partner, Studio Babelsberg. "While United Artists supports and encourages a settlement," they state in a memo, "we are in fact not responsible for its negotiation." Nowhere does it say that they're not responsible for paying it. We won't negotiate it, but we're gonna pay it! I have a degree in math, but I'd get an F in Hollywood Mathematics 101. If the studio won't pony up the $11 million in Germany, the extras' lawyer threatens to take the case to America, where Judge Judy will chew Cruise out during sweeps month. "Here's some more truth you can't handle, Mr. Cruise!" she'll yell.

Is United Artists cursed? This studio, along with its occasional partner MGM, has faced going bankrupt more times than a contestant on Wheel of Fortune. If the studio itself is not cursed, then its movies must be. Heaven's Gate sent the studio to hell in 1978, and now Valkyrie's problems and bad press have it playing Whack-a-Mole with a calendar, popping up on one potential release date after another. If this movie isn't either fantastic or a camp classic, I'll be so disappointed.

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