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Anonymous: Full of Sound and Fury Signifying Nothing

As a filmmaker, Roland Emmerich is first and foremost a savvy opportunist who cannily exploits topics and controversies currently percolating in the culture to grab attention for his particular brand of spectacle-driven entertainment. The Day After Tomorrow, for example, was a climate change-induced environmental disaster movie, while 2012 played off of the superstition that the world will end next year as the Mayans supposedly predicted centuries ago. With his new film, Anonymous, Emmerich has inserted himself another ongoing debate: Was William Shakespeare the actual author of such timeless plays as Hamlet, King Lear and The Comedy of Errors?

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Harry Potter: Spin-Offs We'd Like to See

by Ethan Alter July 15, 2011 12:04 PM
Harry Potter: Spin-Offs We'd Like to See

Harry Potter may embark on his final adventure in the just-released Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Part 2, but that doesn't mean we have to leave J.K. Rowling's wizarding world behind for good. Check out our gallery of potential spin-offs we'd like to see and sound off with your own picks for characters that deserve their own movies.

Zookeeper: 5 Other Blue Collar Roles Kevin James Should Play

Over the course of his career, Kevin James has held down a variety of blue collar jobs where wacky things happen. His breakout role was as a delivery guy for a UPS-like company on the CBS sitcom The King of Queens, who puts up with a crew of oddball buddies at work and an exasperating wife and father at home. James later went on to play a fireman that marries his best (male) friend in I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry and a mall cop who battles a gang of robbers Die Hard-style in Paul Blart: Mall Cop. His latest film, Zookeeper, casts him as... well, a zookeeper that discovers the animals under his care have the power of speech. So far this recipe of "blue collar job" + "wacky stuff" seems to be working out for him. After all, Queens ran for nine seasons and both Chuck and Larry and Paul Blart grossed over $100 million. With that in mind, here are five pitches for James' next big-screen outing. Oh and as an FYI to his agent: We accept royalty payments by cash, check or PayPal.

Jennifer Garner as Miss Marple? We Can Think of Worse

Disney has acquired the rights to Agatha Christie's meek-old-lady-solving-crimes property Miss Marple and plans to turn it into a feature film reboot starring... Jennifer Garner, who is only 38 and primarily known for kicking people while wearing lingerie on Alias. So they're going a different way with it! A younger, and hence, more attractive way with it, which sounds like a financially sound trend that could really take off. Might we suggest even worse old people recasting/reboot ideas? Yes. Yes we might.

Shia LaBeouf, Professional Protegé: Other Aging Stars He Should Take Over For

In Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps Michael Douglas returns to the role of disgraced financial guru Gordon Gekko, but he's not the main character. No, our new Charlie Sheen in this scenario is Shia LaBeouf, who plays Gekko's protegé and future son-in-law. It's a role he's become pretty good at -- after all, he was basically Indiana Jones' intern in Kingdom of the Crystal Skull, and he scampered around after Keanu Reeves in Constantine and Will Smith in I, Robot like a little puppy dog. He could have a lucrative career just playing the hero-in-training, which is why we came up with a list of older leading men Shia should shadow in future films.

What Would a Sci-Fi, Rom-Com or Horror-Themed Expendables Movie Look Like?

A lot of analysis has been done on the increasing number of ensemble films on the marketplace. Movies like The Expendables, Valentine's Day and the upcoming Red stack the deck with stars, either to optimize NetFlix recommendations or simply to draw in the widest audience possible. The latter might be what Bruce Campbell is going for, as he plans to make a horror movie with "so many horror movie stars that people can't possibly not see the movie." Somehow, we think that people will be able to resist the siren song of Kane Hodder and Robert Englund in a sequel to My Name is Bruce, especially since it seems like most horror movies nowadays are simply there to employ washed-up horror stars (i.e. Behind the Mask, Hatchet). But the idea of applying that team-of-all-stars premise to other genres seems like it might have legs. Here are some genre-fied Expendables movies that would put butts in seats.

Spreading the Machete: Film Franchises That Need More Danny Trejo

You may not know this, but the main character in Machete first appeared in the Spy Kids movies. It's true! Okay, so technically, it wasn't exactly the same character, but Danny Trejo played another guy named "Machete" who was the uncle to the titular child agents, and also a spy and inventor himself. He wasn't a bloodthirsty killer, but Trejo certainly made the franchise more awesome simply by being in it -- just as he did in the From Dusk Till Dawn movies, as well as the last two Mariachi flicks. Now he's got his own franchise, with two more Machete movies supposedly on the way, but why is Robert Rodriguez the only one taking advantage of his awesomeness? The man would make a valuable addition to any existing franchise -- here are seven we think should grab him while he's hot.

The Next 3D: Movies Set On the Streets Where You Live

The resurgence of 3-D as a way to make movies a more immersive experience is all well and good, but we've been tinkering with the same formula since the 1950s, and the only other thing we've come up with since then is Smell-O-Vision. Isn't it time for something new? Something that can make horror movies scarier and other movies far more personal? Well, there is now. Director Chris Milk has made an interactive music video for Arcade Fire called The Wilderness Downtown, which lets you choose the location where it takes place. By entering in your childhood street address, you get to watch the hooded teenager in the film run down the streets where you grew up, thanks to what I can only assume is the magic of Google Earth. If this technology can be perfected, imagine the possibilities -- films could be shot on bluescreens, then the backgrounds could be dropped in based on the renter's mailing address! Special glasses could personalize the locale for everyone in the theater audience! Just think how much better these films would be if they took place in your neighborhood!

Ghostbusters 3: The Next 30 Years of Production Updates

Yesterday, a story on Bloody-Disgusting.com revealed new insider-supplied details about the long-gestating third Ghostbusters movie, specifically that Dana Barrett's son Oscar is actually Peter Venkman's illegitimate son, as well, and therefore the rightful leader of a new generation of Ghostbusters (which is a retcon we can get behind). Of course, we're taking all of this with a grain of salt, since, as you can see when you look at BD's long history of Ghostbusters 3 articles, these updates have been coming for years, and they have yet to pan out. Bill Murray has been connected and disconnected from the project, Venkman has been made a ghost, Rick Moranis is supposed to come out of retirement... mass hysteria! To save us all a little time and trouble, we thought we'd just present the next dozen or so breaking news items about the production before they happen, so you know exactly when to start getting excited. (Don't hold your breath.)

The Return of the Jedi Deleted Scenes We'd Rather See

At this past weekend's Star Wars Celebration V convention, George Lucas unveiled a deleted scene that will only be available on the Return of the Jedi Blu-Ray collection, and it's... not very exciting. Darth Vader says Luke's name a bunch of times, and Luke builds a lightsaber in a cave. While, admittedly, that would have been pretty bad-ass at the beginning of the movie had it been included originally, now its just sort of "meh." Tell us something we don't know, George! Specifically, these are some examples of revelatory scenes that might have added something to our enjoyment of the film and made us pony up for yet another version of the sextology

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