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This Woman Needs A Make-Under

by admin June 25, 2008 5:02 pm
This Woman Needs A Make-Under

Everyone knows that uglifying yourself for a movie role is pretty much a guaranteed one way ticket to Academy Award-ville (Nicole Kidman in The Hours, Charlize Theron in Monster, George Clooney in Syriana) or at the very least a butt-load of critical acclaim (Renee Zellweger in Bridget Jones' Diary). Now it seems I'm Fucking Matt Damon is taking a page from the busted actors hand-book for a turn in the forthcoming Steven Soderbergh film The Informant. Peep that pot-belly and ruddy, sunburnt complexion! Why he looks the spitting image of my fifth grade English teacher!

The thing is, these actors don't really need to go to all that trouble. They're actually pretty decent thespians as it is, and prosthetic noses and a spare tire aren't gonna make them better at their craft. Why not let the genetically blessed actors and actresses who really need that extra edge call dibs on the Butterface characters? Say, Lindsay Lohan for example, who let's be honest, sucks at acting. Ditto Jessica Alba, whom we only keep around because she's nice to look at (although if she doesn't whittle down those post-pregnancy cankles soon she might well be starring in a new season of Fat Actress). Now there's something I'd like to see -- Alba with an eye patch, no teeth, and prematurely thinning hair. I smell an Oscar!

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