Paris Hilton has finally found something that's not "hawt." No, it's not her career, it's National Lampoon's Pledge This. The folks who put their name on four Vacations, two Van Wilders and an Animal House are suing the latest Presidential candidate for not promoting the film as per her contract. Hilton stars and also produced the movie, made in 2006, and her $1 million payday included going on the road to promote the film. E! Online says she's being sued for $75,000 for "failing to provide 'reasonable promotion and publicity' for the film." Considering it was released straight-to-DVD, I question how Ms. Hilton could have successfully promoted it. What was she going to do? Go to people's houses?
Odie: Who is it?
Paris: Paris Hilton!
Odie: Look, I bought $200 worth of Girl Scout Cookies from y'all yesterday! Stop pretending to be celeb-- [Looks through peephole.] Oh, snap! It is Paris Hilton! [Opens door.]
Paris: [Looking Odie up and down.] Ew. That's not hawt!
Odie: [Looking Paris up and down.] Ew, that's not talent.
Odie: Whatchuwant, lady?
Paris: I'm here promoting my National Lampoon movie.
Odie: [Incredulously] National Lampoon made One Night In Paris?! Was that under their National Lam-Poontang banner?!
Paris: NO, SILLY! National Lampoon's Pledge This! [Pulls DVD out of her purse and thrusts it in Odie's face.]
Odie: They should have called it National Lampoon's Paris Vacation.
Paris: I tried to tell them that! Anyway, in it, I play a sorority girl, which is, like totally hawt! The MPAA rated it R for pervasive, strong crude and sexual content, nudity, language and some drug material, so you may see me in a way you've never seen before!
Odie: I highly doubt that's possible after--
Paris: Never mind! Please buy the DVD! I have, like 20 other houses on this block I need to get to!
Odie: No, thank you, ma'am.
Paris: I'll throw in some Girl Scout Cookies. [Pulls Thin Mints out of purse, waving them in the air.]
Odie: You're the Devil. [Reaches for wallet.]