Movie Predictions For 2009: Not As Crazy As They Sound If we look carefully at the movie trends of 2008, it's not hard to make a few predictions for the year ahead. Sure, some of these may seem kind of crazy, or maybe they sound flat-out impossible. But just remember these seven words: Steven Soderbergh to direct Cleopatra rock musical. Anything can happen, so get in on the ground floor of these predictions while you can!

After venturing to Spain in 2008 for Vicky Cristina Barcelona, Woody Allen will return to his beloved New York for a remake of 1984's Splash. Scarlett Johansson will star as the mermaid Madison. When the studio balks at Allen wanting to play the romantic leading role originally played by Tom Hanks, he drops out of the project. James Cameron takes over and films the whole thing in 3-D.

'80s TV show Airwolf will be adapted for the big screen. This time, it will be a comedy starring Jack Black as the cello-playing helicopter pilot Stringfellow Hawke. Except instead of a cello, it's a guitar, and he'll have some kind of ironic hang-up, like a fear of heights.

Ubiquitous comedy movie star Will Ferrell will take on a dramatic role. The studio, wishing to pull in Ferrell's established fan base, unwisely markets the movie with funny-looking trailers. Moviegoers respond by staying home to re-watch Old School on DVD instead.

As the economy continues its downward spiral, movie award winners will be given a choice to take home imaginary trophies or accept far cheaper alternatives. Oscar statuettes, for example, will be made of chocolate Easter bunnies from the year before. Awards party goodie bags will be replaced with $5 Subway Sandwich gift certificates.

Many sequels have become so unimaginative that studios simply take footage from the original movies and re-dub them with new dialogue. They then add in a few 3-D scenes, slap together a new trailer, and wait for the money to roll in.

What are some of your predictions for 2009?




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Movies Without Pity

October 2013


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