Five Prison Movies Lindsay Lohan Should Remake Once She Gets Sprung

Well, it's official: Lindsay Lohan is going to jail. True, the sentence is only for 90 days, and now it seems like it's only going to be about 25 days, and the last time she was in jail it was only for 84 minutes, but it's still going to put a crimp in her moviemaking schedule. (When will her Linda Lovelace biopic be completed now?) Luckily, this will open up a whole new genre for her -- prison movies! With her newfound prison cred and, hopefully, scared-straight work ethic, studios will be scrambling to get Lohan behind bars again, this time for a hefty paycheck. Here are a few prison films we think Lohan should remake, with storylines custom-tailored for the actress's professional and criminal rap sheet.

Escape from Alcatraz
Sent to the futuristic island facility known as Alcatraz, newly re-opened as a women's prison, Frankie Morris teams up with a pair of convict sisters (Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen) to escape from the supposedly inescapable compound, mainly by squeezing through narrow openings that are too small for normal human beings.

Death Race
In a sequel to the recent remake, we'd like to see Lohan play a stock-car queen who gets sent to prison for killing a man in a bar fight, only to be drafted into the Death Race as new racer Bride of Frankenstein, at the wheel of a customized VW Beetle. The twist? Lohan's character can only drive when she's stone drunk, much to the dismay of her involuntary navigator (Jeremy London).

The Shawshank Redemption
Sentenced to three weeks of community service for a crime she didn't commit (okay, maybe she did), the intelligent Andrea Dufresne (Lohan) must struggle to survive the daily horror of helping others. The thought of her next cigarette break is the only thing that gets Dufresne through the long, miserable hours of teaching kids how to read and picking up trash, and she plots to break loose even as her parole officer conspires to make her help even more people.

Caged Heat
Sentenced to women's prison on drug charges, Lohan's character falls in with an all-girl gang, including her long-lost twin sister and a seductive DJ. The gang is targeted by a rival gang of mean-girl convicts, as well as by the prison's iron-fisted warden (Tina Fey).

The Green Mile
When a convicted murderer (Paris Hilton) is brought to death row, a guard gets too close to her cell and makes skin-to-skin contact, causing their personalities to switch! Now possessed by the killer, the guard mistreats prisoners and intentionally botches an execution, and the head guard (Lohan) must figure out why her prisoner is acting like a guard and her guard is acting like a con. What a freaky Friday!

What do you think Lohan should do when she gets out of jail? Press your charges below, then read our list of the best Disney remakes.

Take a look at the movie reboots we hope never get made.

Look back at the weirdest movie castings of all time.

Want to immediately access TWoP content no matter where you are online? Download the free TWoP toolbar for your web browser. Already have a customized toolbar? Then just add our free toolbar app to get updated on our content as soon it's published.




Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.



Movies Without Pity

October 2013


December 2012


October 2012


September 2012


The Latest Activity On TwOP