It seems everyone, from high-ranking Hollywood executives to Joe car enthusiasts to hipster entertainment columnists, knew that Fast & Furious would do well in theaters this past weekend. After all, the only other new film was the indie comedy Adventureland, which isn't exactly Superbad, and the biggest threat from last weekend's holdovers was the kid-targeted Monsters vs. Aliens. But the film actually surpassed expectations, bringing in $72 million in the U.S. alone, giving it the biggest April opening of all time, plus another $30 mill from overseas. All of a sudden, Vin Diesel, Michelle Rodriguez, Paul Walker and Jordana Brewster are moneymakers, and they're gonna be getting a lot of offers in the wake of this. If this smart-ass entertainment columnist may offer some suggestions, I've got a multi-part plan for success for each of them.

Although Gran Torino got shut out at the Golden Globes last night, with its only nomination (for Best Original Song) going to Bruce Springsteen's song for The Wrestler, director/star Clint Eastwood is probably feeling pretty good about himself right now. Torino finally opened wide this weekend, adding over 2,700 theatres, and took the number-one spot with $29M, beating out all of the new releases thanks to good reviews, awards recognition and the fact that Clint seems to be playing an elderly "Dirty" Harry Callahan.

Will Smith was voted the best moneymaker at the box office for 2008, the second time a black actor has been at the top of that list. (The first? Sidney Poitier in 1968.) Okay, I get that Will Smith is a big box-office draw, and I've even been known to acknowledge how well his movies tend to do at the box office. (Seven Pounds is looking like an exception.) But, um, "voted"? "Voted"? As in, they cast a ballot on who made the most money?

Proving this country loves nothing if not its dogs, Marley & Me held tight to its position at the top of the box office this weekend, adding $24.1 million, for a two-week total of $106.5. Impressive, yes? Indeed. Even for a dog film. According to Box Office Mojo, it's "the third-highest grossing dog movie on record," a coveted position, as we all know. It falls behind only Scooby-Doo (really? That movie?) and 101 Dalmatians, and is fast approaching the top of that list.

In a move that everybody who witnessed how well Beverly Hills Chihuahua did saw coming, the latest cutesy dog picture to come out of Hollywood, Marley & Me, came in at number one at the box office, with $37 million for the weekend, and a whopping $51.6 million since Christmas. Sure, sympathetic tabloid fodder Jennifer Aniston and Owen Wilson may have helped those numbers, but never underestimate the power of puppies (or puppy-dog eyes).

Apparently, Jim Carrey still has it, as his wacky comedy Liar, Liar-- uh, we mean Yes Man topped the box office this weekend, beating out Will "I am Box Office Legend" Smith's sad-looking Seven Pounds. But just barely -- Jimbo got $18.1 million, while Big Willy got an even $16 mill. Still, they were the standouts of the weekend, which remained mellow in the face of holiday shopping. (Expect the holiday weekend, with its six major releases, to turn everything on its ear.)

An alien version of Keanu Reeves (which is different from the normal version how, exactly?) overcame a world of bad reviews in The Day the Earth Stood Still, which rocketed to the top of the weekend box office with $31 million, knocking Four Christmases out of its two-week reign. Christmases managed to stay in second, though, taking in another $13.3 million.

Four Christmases somehow managed to stay at the top of the box office for a second week in a row, while Twilight actually moved up the chart, from number three last week to number two. How ever did that happen? Oh, right, virtually nothing opened this weekend in wide release except for a comic book sequel with a very limited fanbase, Punisher: War Zone (which made only $4 million to come in eighth).

A holiday-themed movie made the most of the long holiday weekend, as Four Christmases easily unseated Twilight for the top spot at the weekend box office. In fact, even Bolt edged in, leaving Twilight in third for the weekend.

Whether you'll be sitting down to a turkey dinner or a Tofurkey lunch this Thanksgiving, we invite you to reflect upon the following ten movies from 2008. They weren't necessarily the lowest-grossing pictures of the year, but they failed to live up to financial expecations, in a big way. These suckers plummeted to the earth, flightless and doomed, like those poor gobblers dropped from a helicopter in that famous episode of WKRP in Cincinnati. It's not hard to imagine some of the investors saying, much like dazed radio station manager Arthur Carlson, "As God is my witness, I thought turkeys could fly." But they couldn't, and they can't, so they've landed here with a resounding thud.