Dark Knight Felled By Thunder

by admin August 18, 2008 10:37 am
Dark Knight Felled By Thunder Pineapple Express underachieved on its opening weekend, causing the Watchmen-addicted Zach to incorrectly predict it would unseat The Dark Knight. I challenged him, stating that Tropic Thunder would be Batman's nemesis. He said I was crazy, and I was -- like a fox! Let's look at this logically: On one hand, you have a stoner movie. They're having a resurgence thanks to Judd Apatow and company. On the other hand, you have a movie that, in the name of satire, makes fun of Blacks, Asians, and the mentally challenged. It also has a Scientologist using more Jewish stereotypes in his performance than a Mel Brooks movie on crack. And let's not forget the gory war violence and farts! How could anybody predict that Middle America would resist this movie?! You don't need to be Miss Cleo to get this one. While I wrestle Zach for the one measly dollar I've won, which he refuses to pony up, here are this weekend's box office numbers.

Robert Downey Jr.'s blackface outperformed Heath Ledger's Mary Kay imitation by $10 million, owning the top spot with $26 million. The Dark Knight may have fallen, but its current take of $471.5 million pushes it ahead of Star Wars on the highest grossing movie of all time list. Speaking of Star Wars, the Sith Lord of marketing greed, George Lucas, probably isn't happy with the third place showing of Star Wars: The Clone Wars. The creepy-looking cartoon pulled in $15.5 million, which means that either the nerds were too busy at their 12th showing of The Dark Knight, or women were giving away pity punany in buckets last weekend.

In other news: Kiefer Madness beat out Reefer Madness! Sutherland's Mirrors reflected a fourth place showing over fifth place Pineapple Express, proving that most people haven't seen the red band trailer that gives away the movie's money shot. Others cried out for their Mummy, in sixth place, or their Mamma Mia, in seventh. Not even a ménage a trios between Anton Chigurh, Penelope Cruz and Scarlett Johanssen could keep Woody Allen's Vicky Cristina Barcelona out of tenth place. Who da hell wants to see a PG-13 rated ménage-a-trois? Had Woody thrown in a few F-words (or, um, a woody), he would have gotten the R and V.C.B. would be unseating The Dark Knight. At least Allen's finally realized that seeing him tongue down 20-year-olds is just plain yucky.

The tally:

1 Tropic Thunder $26,000,000
2 The Dark Knight $16,790,000
3 Star Wars: The Clone Wars $15,505,00
4 Mirrors $11,125,000
5 Pineapple Express $10,000,000
6 The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor $8,609,000
7 Mamma Mia! $6,498,000
8 The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2 $5,930,000
9 Step Brothers $5,000,000
10 Vicky Cristina Barcelona $3,710,000




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