James Bond fans have had plenty to say about the art-housening of Bond films lately, with the last two films having more in common stylistically with the Bourne films than the Bond franchise. Well, they ain't seen nothing yet. Sam Mendes, director of American Beauty, Road to Perdition, Revolutionary Road and Away We Go, will direct (or at least consult on) the next James Bond film. Additionally, writing chores will be partially handled by Peter Morgan, who also penned such tepid dramas as Frost/Nixon, The Queen and The Other Boleyn Girl. Looking back at their mostly sedate filmographies, we have some predictions as to what we'll see in the forthcoming action spectacle currently known only as Bond 23.
- Kate Winslet will play the new Bond girl, a bored suburban housewife.
- Bond will bring his young son along on his missions to assassinate foreign heads of state.
- The new Bond theme song would be a mournful ballad by Sufjan Stevens.
- Long stretches of the film will involve M drinking tea and watching the news.
- Bond will occasionally blow off a mission to play video games.
- Bond will have inappropriate fantasies about M's teenage daughter, covered in English rose petals.
- In a "gotcha" interview, M will be tricked into revealing Bond's identity by a devious talk-show host.
- Bond ultimately feels stifled by his choice of career, and quits to work in fast-food, where he doesn't have to wear a suit all the time.
- At one point, Bond attends an open house. Not to buy, just to look around.
Weigh in on this news below, then see our list of Rejected Bond Titles!