Recently, at the Cannes film festival, Wall Street 2 star Shia LaBeouf gave an interview in which he criticized two of his previous films: Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen and Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull. We say "Bravo, Mr. Beef" -- both movies were awful, and while we kind of expected it of the former, the latter's goofy action and CGI made fans of the original Indy films cry. But while LaBeouf's criticism of TF director Michael Bay comes with its own risks -- he does like blowing stuff up, Shia, and you are making another movie with him -- the actor's criticism of Spielberg is even more shocking. Crystal Skull may be a stinker, but Spielberg is a major power player in Hollywood, and somewhat of a legend. But when you're right, you're right. Here's a list of other things people should feel comfortable saying to Mr. Spielbergo.
Replacing the federal agents' guns with walkie-talkies in the re-release of E.T.: The Extra-Terrestrial was dumb. Just because you had kids in real life doesn't mean that you can't threaten fake kids with shotguns. It's not reality, it's a movie, and it teaches kids watching not to mess with the feds. If kids thought law enforcement officials only carried walkie-talkies, we'd be living in Logan's Run by now.
A.I.: Artificial Intelligence should have ended 15 minutes earlier. Not only was it kinda long, but the whole ending with the crazy futuristic robots chipping through the ice to find David, as well as their re-creation of David's house and cloning of his mother, totally took away from the real happy ending: the freezing of Haley Joel Osment for eternity.
You totally cheated in Saving Private Ryan. By starting out with the old man's eye remembering the beaches at Normandy, then showing Tom Hanks' eyes, you made it seem like the old man was Hanks. Then you had it turn out to be Matt Damon, who wasn't even at Normandy, and on top of that you killed Hanks. You owe us $10 and a box of Jujubes.
Whatever the Lost Boys were eating in Hook was gross. It looked like food, but everything seemed to be made of frosting. We think it might have been imaginary (it's not really explained how they wish it into being), but it must have been partially real to be effective, and it therefore had us concerned about those kids' caloric intake. Just look at Thud Butt -- that boy is headed for a coronary.
Why did you never make a big-screen Even Stevens movie? The TV show starred the handsome and outspoken Shia LaBeouf, one of the greatest, most sensitive artists in the world, and it could have launched him to stardom years before Disturbia, which he was also great in. The guy is clearly a genius, so way to drop the ball.
The Terminal was really boring. No further comment, really. Just thought you should know.
What do you think of Shia's commentary? Put your foot in your mouth below, and then see our guide to the Most Unnecessary Sequels!
Want to immediately access TWoP content no matter where you are online? Download the free TWoP toolbar for your web browser. Already have a customized toolbar? Then just add our free toolbar app to get updated on our content as soon it's published.