BLOGS

The Scarlett Pimping Mill

by Tippi Blevins August 19, 2008 9:28 am
The Scarlett Pimping Mill The promo mill for Woody Allen's Vicky Cristina Barcelona started grinding into high gear recently and it cranked out a doozy. It's like someone asked, "How do you promote a movie about two women involved in a love affair with the same man?" And the answer came back: "Naturally you pimp one of those women out for a threesome!" That woman is none other than Scarlett Johansson, who plays the titular Cristina, and you can check out a screenshot of the contest at The Dish Rag. But, look, ScarJo. No one thinks less of Paris Hilton for not promoting her National Lampoon movie, and she's generally a huge waste of space. You, on the other hand, were in Lost in Translation. So what in the world are you doing with this?

Of course it's not a threesome in the sexual sense. There's some kind of explanation in the picture about what you really win in the contest--the fine print is on the microscopic side, but I'm pretty sure it says something about how you win lunch or a movie outing with the actress. (Details are on Johansson's site, but it's down right now, probably overloaded with eager submissions.) Doesn't it sound like it should be the plot of a Three's Company episode where Jack wins a date with some hot celebrity babe, but then has to bow out at the last minute lest Mr. Furley's hetero suspicion fall upon him? Or maybe it sounds like that Robot Chicken where exactly this happened.

There will probably also be many more than three people involved. There's Johansson, the contest winners, a gaggle of paparazzi, at least one legit media person, Johansson's assistant, someone "official" from the movie, and a professional perv wrangler or two. When you add them all up, it starts sounding more like an orgy than a threesome.

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