It's a pretty safe bet that when I log on in the morning to check out recent movie news that I'll come across one or two things that make me question my sanity. Or the sanity of the movie industry. Today, I woke up to more than the usual number of head-scratchers. First up:
- According to Variety, Mike Myers has joined the cast of Quentin Tarantino's Inglorious Bastards. Myers will play a British "military mastermind" who takes part in the Nazi-killing plans. I know Myers has played a couple of dramatic roles in the past, but I'd be less surprised if the report had Michael Myers popping up to scalp a few Nazis.
- In other news, Dane Cook critiques the promo poster for his upcoming movie, My Best Friend's Girl. He picks apart the things that "truly blow" on his MySpace page, and I completely agree with him, from the weird, doll-like skin to the surreal eye positions to the Fortress of Solitude backdrop. I never thought I'd say it, but here goes: I feel your pain, Dane Cook!
- According to Dark Horizons, the new Punisher flick has been edited from a hard R rating to a kid-friendly PG-13. I suspect this will make the movie about fourteen minutes long. They should just show it at the beginning of the Madagascar sequel, for all the sense it makes.
- If you heard a chorus of tormented screams yesterday afternoon, it wasn't the sound of Muggles being tortured by a band of Death Eaters, but the frustrated cries of Harry Potter fans as they learned that the next sequel has been pushed back eight months from November to July. According to Variety, the reason is that summer 2009 was otherwise sucking for Warner Bros. so they're using Harry's wand as their tentpole. And I swear I didn't mean that to sound as dirty as it came out.
- And finally, do you remember the first Candyman movie? So do I, because it only came out in the '90s. But Shock Till You Drop is reporting that Sony may already be redoing it. Yeah. Did you know that if you say "remake" in front of a mirror five times, a bad idea comes to life?