BLOGS

I Want My DVD: Tuesday, November 3, 2009

by Zach Oat November 2, 2009 5:30 pm
I Want My DVD: Tuesday, November 3, 2009

What are your favorite TV stars doing when they're not making television magic? They're making movie mediocrity! The stars of Heroes, The Mentalist, Law & Order, Parenthood and Weeds are all on DVD this week, in movies of varying degrees of quality.

I Love You, Beth Cooper
It starts cheesy, and stays that way for its duration, but there's something about this movie that cements its place in the list of greatest dusk-till-dawn, one-wild-night movies of all time, just behind Superbad. Paul Rust's nerd character and Jack Carpenter's maybe-gay movie geek are cartoonishly over-the-top at times, and the premise of Rust and his cheerleader crush (Hayden Panettiere) hanging out all night is slightly ludicrous, but it's fun to watch him learn that the girl he's dreamed about is kind of messed-up. Panettiere channels Kelly LeBrock in Weird Science at times, mentoring these two hopeless nerds in the ways of loosening up, and Shawn Roberts' has a little Bill Paxton in him as her Army boyfriend. Lauren Storm has some great one-liners playing a dumb, easy blonde, and Alan Ruck plays his greatest role since Ferris Bueller's Day Off as Paul's mellow dad, who tells him where the condoms are.

G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra
If you were interested in this movie, then you've probably already seen it, and if you liked it, you're going to buy it. If you hated it, it's probably not going to get any better with repeat viewings. If you swore you wouldn't see it, because you love G.I. Joe so much, you should probably just get G.I. Joe: Resolute, the animated movie that has all the characters as you remember them from the original series, except much, much cooler.

The Beautiful Person
Only in a French movie can a cool, laid-back young high school teacher with tousled hair fall deeply in love with one of his cool, laid-back students, which forces him to break it off with both the other student he's currenly dating and the sexy older teacher he has a thing going with. He even gets dragged into a gay love triangle between three high school boys when a love letter from one to another is mistakenly identified as his. The smoldering passions and unspoken emotions simmer beneath the surface in this movie, which practically oozes French cinema from its pores, in the best way possible. (On demand from IFC.)

The Taking of Pelham 1-2-3
If John Travolta remakes a classic heist movie, and grows a luxurious mustache to do it, does anyone care? Sadly, no.

Wings of Desire: Criterion Collection
Infinitely better than the remake City of Angels, if only because it has a lot less Nic Cage and a lot more Nick Cave. [Cave's internal monoloue: I'm not gonna sing a song about a girl. I'm not gonna sing a song about a girl. Spoken: "This is a song about a girl."] Also: Peter Falk is hysterical in the role later inexplicably played by Dennis Franz.

Say Anything: 20th Anniversary Edition
Guess who's old! You are! That's right, it's been 20 years since Lloyd Dobler hid the Firebird keys, took up kickboxing, and lifted a boom box over his head playing Peter Gabriel to win back the heart of Ione Skye. After all, he gave her his heart, and she gave him a pen. That's messed up.

The Answer Man
Before she starts up in her new series Parenthood, see what Lauren Graham's been doing with her spare time.

The Narrows
What's Vincent D'Onofrio gonna do now that he's left Law & Order: Criminal Intent? More indie movies like this.

Not Forgotten
Simon Baker (The Mentalist) plays a man with a secret whose daughter is kidnapped by cultists. Still not a psychic.

Also out this week:
North by Northwest: 50th Anniversary Edition The perfect gift! Delivery by dive-bombing biplane costs extra.
Food, Inc. Looking for something to make you reconsider the way you eat? Of course not. But watch it anyway.
The Dead Not a zombie movie, sadly, just a 1987 adaptation of a James Joyce short story starring Anjelica Huston. Directed by George Romero
White Christmas: Anniversary Edition The original Bing croons with George Clooney's aunt while Danny Kaye mugs in this holiday classic.
Christmas in Wonderland Meanwhile, Patrick Swayze, Tim Curry, Chris Kattan and Carmen Electra star in this extended ad for the West Edmonton Mall. Swayze's second-to-last film role.
Film Noir Classics Vol. 1 Apparently, noir is the new black. No, wait, I'm sorry, noir is black. Misread my own notes there.
Aliens in the Attic Yet another movie about cutesy aliens. But the only one with Kevin Nealon, as far as we know.
National Lampoon's Christmas Vacation: Ultimate Collector's Edition Better than European Vacation. There, we said it.

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