The Last Song? More like The Last Straw, am I right? Seriously, though, I don't think this movie was meant for people like me to watch, unless we're looking for stuff to talk about in chat rooms. Ditto Furry Vengeance, although probably different chat rooms.
The Last Song (Blu-ray/DVD Combo)
Also known around the office as The Last Nicholas Sparks Movie We'll Pay to See, The Last Miley Cyrus Film We'll Pay to See Until She Makes a Horror Movie and The Last Time We'll Allow Greg Kinnear to Tamper With Our Emotions.
Claire Danes scored an Emmy nomination for this Emmy-baiting made-for-TV movie about a woman with high-functioning autism who became a spokesperson and advocate for the disorder, as well as for stylish neckerchiefs.
Somewhere, a filmmaker with an idea for a slasher movie about people in animal suits is searching for a new title. Way to ruin a guy's dream, Brendan Fraser. (Also available via Movies on Demand.)
Want to see what the fresh-but-stubbly-faced Chris Hemsworth did in between playing George Kirk in Star Trek and the god of thunder in Thor? Apparently, he made this straight-to-DVD thriller with Sean Bean. Hey, they can't all be generation-defining blockbusters.
The City of Your Final Destination
Anthony Hopkins, Laura Linney and Charlotte Gainsbourg star in this Merchant Ivory film about an expatriate family in Uruguay, which is just a fun country to say.
Briana Evigan follows up her role in Step Up 2: The Streets by getting boarded up, in a house, with a tiger, during a hurricane. There is no way this movie could sound any more awesome.
Finally, a Ricky Gervais comedy that doesn't get overhyped and shoved down our throats only to ultimately disappoint! Not knowing very much about this coming-of-age comedy (Gervais plays the dad, not the kid) only makes us want to see it more.
The Assassin Next Door
Congratulations to Kurylenko for parlaying her role as a bond girl in Quantum of Solace into an action career, playing an ass-kicking Pict in Centurion, and the titular killer neighbor in this DVD release. Also, congratulations on surviving the double-whammy of Hitman and Max Payne. Ouch.
Also out on DVD today:
Sorority Wars Thankfully, Lucy Hale survived this Lifetime movie to become a Pretty Little Liar. Others weren't so lucky.
Skellig: The Owl Man We're assuming Tim Roth owed somebody a favor to strap on owl wings and appear in this movie.
The Good, the Bad and the Weird Yes, this highly successful South Korean film was inspired by the exact movie you think it was.
The Lost Skeleton Returns Again This 2008 independent film was made to look like a black-and-white monster movie from the 1950s. Because why not?
Dark and Stormy Night Another retro-styled modern film, this time a horror flick.
Big Money Rustlas The Insane Clown Posse has an actual posse in this cowboy prequel to their last film, Big Money Hustlas. We cannot make this stuff up.
To see this week's TV releases, check out TV on DVD!
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