Benjamin Button: The Reality Show? Hells Yes! Earlier today I read that the producers of award darling Slumdog Millionaire have decided to be extra classy, milking the success of the critically lauded film to create a reality show loosely based on the Oscar-nominated movie. Described as a tweaked take on the popular series Secret Millionaire, the brilliantly titled show Secret Slumdog Millionaire will send a bunch of wealthy people into the slums of Mumbai in an effort to help poor people (and assuage rich white guilt or something). Sounds like a brilliant plan! Why not piggyback one crap, potentially exploitative idea on to a relatively good one for maximum stupidity? I've decided to do the same thing, taking ten other films up for Oscars this year and coming up with reality show pitches based on their premises. I better get an executive producing credit for these gems.

Think Secret Millionaire in reverse with a dash of The Paper: nerdy members of a high school newspaper identify and lampoon rich, corrupt public figures ... while disguised as Michael Sheen.

The Changeling
Wife Swap, but with kids! And in period 30s costumes รก la Colonial House.

The Wrestler
The Surreal Life meets American Gladiators: a series of washed up pro athletes live together in a house while attempting to mount comebacks, accruing points along the way for things like befriending strippers and reconciling with estranged family members.

The Curious Case of Benjamin Button
A variation on Dr. 90210 that follows one case study per season, chronicling a person's desperate quest for youth and love.

Revolutionary Road
A modern take on The Newlywed Game, incorporating elements of Fear Factor and Jackass so that the tensions of marriage get dispelled by mutual torture.

In Bruges
The Amazing Race for hitmen! A gaggle of career criminals race around the world out-gangstering each other at every turn.

Rachel Getting Married
Celebrity Rehab meets My Super Sweet Sixteen: a bunch of coddled, spoiled rich kids get thrown in rehab and we watch the fur fly.

Think: A Gay Shot at Love: Gay dudes compete for the affection of a coveted gay superstar. All the losers get assassinated.

Happy Go Lucky
Sort of like The Hills but set in blue collar London, wherein we get to see the minutiae of an extremely cheerful Everygirl's daily life as she converts the curmudgeons around her into cockeyed optimists.

Moment of Truth meets Bad Girls Club: A convent full of bad-ass nuns snipe and catfight, and the whole thing gets resolved live via a polygraph machine.




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