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Disney Wants You! (To Buy More Crap)

by Kasey McDonald June 12, 2008 1:06 pm
Disney Wants You! (To Buy More Crap) I really should have looked into studying merchandising when I went to college. It seems to be one of those fields in which scores of people throw their ideas against a wall and every single thing sticks. And the company out there with the most crap stuck to their walls? Disney. I don't think they turn anyone's idea down. A plush chair in the shape of Ratatouille's Anton Ego? Sure, kids! Have a seat in the scary guy's lap. I think I even remember an Aladdin candy dispenser in the shape of a lamp that you had to actually rub in order to get the goods. Walking through the hallways of their merchandising/licensing department is probably like running the gauntlet through a cafeteria food fight, only instead of getting beaned by half-eaten tuna sandwiches and little cartons of milk, you're dodging stuffed Monsters Inc. plush dolls and 101 Dalmatians lunch boxes.

Next up on the Disney Merchandising Team's roster? Wall-E. When Variety reported that Disney is rolling out the new stuff at this week's Licensing Expo, I was surprised to see that the Mouse didn't haven't its own pavilion. And if you think the Expo is the only place to find Wall-E merchandise, then you haven't been shopping lately. Stores are already filled to capacity with Wall-E books and games. In fact, a quick check of eBay shows that there are already 288 Wall-E items for sale and the movie isn't even out yet. They have everything on there from backpack-style tin carrying cases to a Wall-E U Command robot with remote. There is literally so much movie merchandising shit out there it would take the actual Wall-E robot (which, if you didn't know, stands for Waste Allocation Load Lifter Earth-Class) 3,000 years to clean up.

If this writing thing doesn't work out, I know where I'm putting in my application.

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