BLOGS

Something For the Slacker in All of Us

by Tippi Blevins September 5, 2008 11:51 am
Something For the Slacker in All of Us Are you sitting at work, watching the minutes tick by until you're finally free for the weekend, wondering how you'll occupy yourself for the next two days of work-free bliss? Are you thinking about risking the wrath of your significant other to go see The Dark Knight for the fifteenth time? There's not a lot new coming out this week in theaters. No new comic book hero movies, no new sci-fi epics, and no new horror villains to make you scream... unless you count Nicolas Cage's scary-ass hairdo in Bangkok Dangerous. Screw it. You might as well be a slacker and waste away the weekend on the Internet.

Here are a few things to help your eyes glaze over as you stare at the computer screen:

1. Check out Hellraiser creator Clive Barker's indictment of PG-13 horror movies and imagine what a kid-friendly version of Pinhead would have been like. Maybe instead of pins, he would have had little twinkling Lite-Brites.

2. Watch the trailer for Gus Van Sant's Milk, starring Sean Penn and James Franco and their prosthetic penises. (The latter are not in the trailer.)

3. Wal-Mart--yes, Wal-Mart--has behind-the-scenes footage of the Transformers sequel, available to those who purchase the DVD of the first movie.

4. If big artificial tools aren't your cup of tea, you can watch a trailer of Keira Knightley in The Duchess instead.

5. According to The Hollywood Reporter, "Michael Moore will distribute his next movie, Slacker Uprising, online for free." This doesn't actually start until September 23, but if you're really slacking, it would take you that long to get around to downloading it anyway.

As for me, I'll be waiting around for a site besides the subscription-only outlets to get wind of Ralph Fiennes directing and starring in a modern-day adaptation of Shakespeare's Coriolanus. Partly because I like Ralph Fiennes, but mostly so that I can add it to Zach's dirty-sounding titles list.

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