The standards for budget, special effects and an audience's tolerance for teenagers killing each other are much higher now than they were back in the early '00s -- a fact made extremely clear when Battle Royale was essentially banned from United States theaters. But what if this week's The Hunger Games movie had been released in 2002? (Yes, we know the book would've had to existed first, but just go with it.) Who would've starred in it? What would the music have been like? Would it have been better than the actual 2012 version? Let's speculate:

The Internet collectively gasped yesterday when silver screen sexpot Megan Fox was not invited back to the Transformers movie franchise. True, Fox had bad-mouthed the plot (as it was) and safety standards of the last two movies, as well as director Michael Bay, but Bay seemed to be okay with her controversial interview style, and to actually be looking forward to making her sweat it out in a leather catsuit one more time. But then, suddenly, she was out, and the search for her replacement was underway. Of course, now Fox is saying that she left the production of her own free will, that she in fact chose not to come back, and while that would be a dubious career move for her, we're going to assume she's telling the truth, especially since she immediately followed it up with several more clarifications that ring true. Here's some additional knowledge Fox dropped on us.

They turned Transformers into a movie franchise; they turned Land of the Lost into a movie; they're turning Thundercats, Where's Waldo? and Stretch Armstrong into movies. Clearly, these things are just going to keep happening. Every single thing you remember from a past decade will be announced as a movie sooner or later. Slap wraps will be a movie. Girl Talk: The Next Zit Sticker will be a movie. Crystal Pepsi will be a movie. And you know what? I surrender! We might as well start preemptively embracing these things and hoping for the best before they're announced -- it lessens the blow that way. Here are five kid's shows you liked when you were younger that will inevitably be adapted into live action films, as well as some casting suggestions that we can hopefully all live with.

Have you noticed this? In the midst of all the 17 Again success, that little powerhouse of sweepy do's and fake varsity basketball production numbers, Zac Efron has been getting compared to a young Tom Cruise a lot this month. I guess it makes sense? When Tom Cruise was 21, he was also very pretty and famous, so it makes total sense to compare the two, because 1) no one other than Tom Cruise has ever exhibited those two characteristics, and 2) it's not like calling someone "the next Tom Cruise" has any negative and/or terrifying connotations or anything, media. It makes perfect sense! Excellent work. Anyway, apparently they mean it as a compliment, because Tom Cruise is quite successful, busy and wealthy, despite all his bad personal press, and I say there's no reason the same can't be true for Zefron. Here are a few ridiculous steps in the shadow of Cruise for him to follow. (Note to Zefron: I love you, so please, for the love of god, don't do any of these things.) And a 5, 6, 7, 8!

Even though 2008 was a good year for the box office, budgetary concerns remain foremost in many studios' thoughts. What better way to help shore up cash intake than to make movies with huge merchandising potential? Look at the blockbuster Transformers, for example. Hasbro will be following up with a sequel, as well as movies based on their board games, like Candy Land, Monopoly, and the ol' party-pleaser, the Oujia board. Not to be outdone, Mattel will be getting into the action with a live-action Barbie movie and a movie revolving around their Hot Wheels toy line. Man, it's like the Mattel and Mars Bar Quick Energy Chocobot Hour come to life.

If we look carefully at the movie trends of 2008, it's not hard to make a few predictions for the year ahead. Sure, some of these may seem kind of crazy, or maybe they sound flat-out impossible. But just remember these seven words: Steven Soderbergh to direct Cleopatra rock musical. Anything can happen, so get in on the ground floor of these predictions while you can!

In a time when studios seem to be placing their bets on safe, tested properties by cranking out remake after remake, it's nice to hear about movies that spring from unexpected sources. Today there's news about two such movies where the source material isn't from an excavated '80s B-movie or a rebooted take on an old superhero. Rather, the inspiration for one of these movies comes from a real-life YouTube courtship, and the other from the pen of a nine-year old boy.

Through a confluence of mystical forces that included a borderline food coma, a shoddy remote control, and a level of laziness I defy anyone to equal, I found myself a few years back absorbed in watching that Christmas-time TV movie staple of the modern era, Love Actually. Though I freely admit that I have been known to succumb to the charms of countless saccharine rom-coms, even I didn't deign to spend money on a ticket to see this film when it came out in theaters. Nor did I feel compelled to rent it on DVD, or even on-demand it on one of those bleak, self-pitying Saturday nights when you're too hungover/depressed/full of pizza to drag yourself out of your house. But on that fateful night, the stars aligned and I found myself staring transfixed into the deep pools of Keira Knightly's eyes, guffawing at Colin Firth's bumbling attempts to woo, and tearing up at the mere sight of a broken, grieving Liam Neeson.

Since the news cycle is still pretty clogged with election results and stories (even Variety has an electoral map on their home page) and the rest of the world -- including Hollywood -- can't seem to get much of a word in edge-wise, I'm going to follow Odie's lead and report on a politics-movie tie-in. Over at The Hollywood Reporter's Risky Biz Blog, Steven Zeitchik explored the possibility of whether or not Republican Presidents are bad for movies. It turns out they kind of are.

In what is not the strangest red carpet interview Joaquin Phoenix has ever given (some of you may remember when he was convinced during an interview that a large frog was trying to eat his brain at the Walk the Line premiere a couple of years ago), he has nevertheless gone above and beyond the call of weird when he told a reporter for E! and later confirmed with Extra that he is retiring from acting, and that the upcoming film Two Lovers would be his last. In a move that's usually reserved for actors who actually can't get any more work, he told the reporter that he was quitting to focus on his music.