BLOGS

<i>The Tooth Fairy</i>: What The Rock Should Be Doing Instead

Dwayne "The Rock" Johnson started out on his transition from the world of wrestling to the world of movies in the way that you'd expect any beefy athlete to: playing a bad guy in a mummy movie. Perfect. His action follow-ups the Scorpion King, The Rundown and Walking Tall showed he could carry a lead role, but lately he's been in a slew of flicks that are a little more kid-friendly, from The Game Plan (tough football player saddled with a precious kid he didn't know he had) to Disney's Race to Witch Mountain (cranky cab driver saddled with two alien runaways) to the forthcoming Tooth Fairy (tough hockey player gets stuck being a tooth fairy). We understand that Johnson wants to show his range, but the family fare is killing us. Since we still sorta like the guy and want to see him back in top form, we've got some suggestions for future career moves he should make.

1. Stick With Action
While he's undeniably charismatic and engaging -- thanks, communications classes! -- action films are where Johnson really shines. Luckily, it looks like he's already getting back to his roots, with a role as an ex-con seeking revenge in Driver, and a part in the first American film from the director of the martial-arts extravaganza The Protector, unfortunately titled City of Angels. (Nic Cage isn't in this one, is he?) As long as he stays on this path, without veering into "Uh-oh, I'm wearing a tutu" territory, we'll start going to see his movies again.

2. Super Size It
For the longest time, Johnson was the front-runner to play either Captain Marvel or villain Black Adam in a movie based on DC Comics' Shazam! Considering that he was alternately playing a superhero or a supervillain for the entirety of his wrestling career, it seems like he'd be a natural. While we're not entirely sure we care about Captain Marvel as a comic book character (coincidentally, he's a young boy who turns into an adult hero), he would have been great in either role, and we would have gone to see it just to see him fly around and punch people. Sadly, there aren't many more prominent superheroes he bears a resemblance to, but we'd be fine with him joining the Avengers as Luke Cage, Hero for Hire. (Sorry, Tyrese, but Singleton is taking too damn long.)

3. Go Dark
Often, Johnson gets cast as the "perfect guy." In Get Smart, he played the unflappable Agent 23, whom Steve Carrell wanted to be like, and in the upcoming The Other Guys, he and Sam Jackson play the cops that Will Ferrell and Mark Wahlberg want to emulate. We know he's also played jerks, and we also know that he can't just stop looking like a chiseled Greek statue, but maybe just once he could not play a role model? Somebody who doesn't have it all together and has flaws? And not cartoony, "he's too cocky" flaws, either. Like "he's a crack addict and an abusive father" flaws.

4. No More Video Game Movies
Okay, he's probably already learned that lesson from Doom, but it bears repeating.

5. Embrace "The Rock"
We know that the nickname "The Rock" is a remnant of Johnson's wrestling past, one that he feels he needs to shake off if he's going to be taken seriously as an actor, but if all he's gonna do is kid movies and action flicks, what's the point? It's not like he's trying to be in a Nicholas Sparks romance -- although he totally should -- so why not go with that incredibly awesome nickname the world still knows him by? Unless he has to pay WWE a nickel every time somebody says it (he seems to co-own the name with them), I say slap that shit on a marquee. But the People's Eyebrow? We'd be happy if he never raised a single eyebrow again.

What advice do you have for The Ro-- er, Dwayne? Slam it down below.

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