BLOGS

Abduction and Seven Other Movie Characters Whose Pasts Are a Lie

In the John Singleton-directed thriller Abduction, Twilight heartthrob Taylor Lautner plays a seemingly ordinary teenager who discovers that the life he's been leading for some 18 years is one giant lie. Instead of a popular high-schooler living in suburban bliss with parents Maria Bello and Jason Isaacs, he's actually a kick-ass action hero that's been targeted by a high-level government agency eager to get more intel on him and his real mom and dad. Talk about a buzz-kill. Although on the upside, going on the run to uncover his actual identity does get him out of having to take his final exams. And maybe while he's searching for his elusive origins, he'll cross paths with some of these other men and women who discovered that their memories of their pasts aren't exactly on the up-and-up. [Warning: Spoilers ahead.]

Samantha Caine
From: The Long Kiss Goodnight
Who She Thinks She Is: A small-town schoolteacher and mother of an adorable little girl, Caitlin.
Who She Actually Is: Charlene Elizabeth Baltimore, a deadly CIA-trained assassin who was involved in a botched mission eight years ago that left her with amnesia.
Who Has the Better Life? Baltimore's skills are more marketable and the life of an international assassin sure sounds glamorous, but on the other hand, molding young minds in a classroom and raising a kid at home seems a lot more fulfilling on a personal level.

Thomas Anderson
From: The Matrix
Who He Thinks He Is: A computer programmer by day and a super-hacker with a wicked-ass Alias (Neo) by night.
Who He Actually Is: A grown-in-a-vat slave to the tyrannical machines, who have plugged him in to a virtual word and use his energy to keep themselves going and going like the Energizer Bunny.
Who Has the Better Life? We always like to tell ourselves that we'd take the red pill too if Morpheus offered us the choice. But life in the real world looks really hard. At least inside the Matrix, you know where your next (non-gruel) meal and hot shower is coming from. Still, it's well-established that only the individuals that have truly "woken up" get to wear the awesome leather dusters and do all those wicked-cool kung-fu moves. Screw it -- real world Neo gets the better deal.

Leonard Shelby
From: Memento
Who He Thinks He Is: An amateur investigator with anterograde amnesia searching the streets of L.A. for his beloved wife's murderer, John G., and telling anyone who will listen the story of Sammy Jankis, the amnesiac that killed his diabetic wife.
Who He Actually Is: Well, he really is an amateur investigator with anterograde amnesia searching the streets of L.A. for his beloved wife's murderer. But it turns out that he's also, in part, Sammy Jankis. It was him -- not Sammy -- who killed his wife via an insulin overdose. Furthermore, he caught the real John G. over a year ago, but continues his lonely mission anyway since the alternative is likely to live out the rest of his days in an institution.
Who Has the Better Life? Neither of them, really. But we understand why Leonard would rather forget the Sammy part of his identity -- nothing ruins a murder investigation faster than learning you're the culprit.

Ivy Elizabeth Walker
From: The Village
Who She Thinks She Is: The daughter of her 19th-century village's stern chief, who has imposed a strict "no venturing into the woods" rule on the village folks, lest they be attacked by the mysterious creatures that hide amidst the trees.
Who She Actually Is: A member of a strange commune hidden deep on a wildlife preserve founded in the '70s by her father and some other families as a way to escape the tragedies of the modern world.
Who Has the Better Life? If you're going to be stuck living like you're in the 19th century, you're probably better off not knowing that there's a whole world out there with the Internet, light bulbs and flush toilets.

Douglas Quaid
From: Total Recall
Who He Thinks He Is: A construction work with a super-hot wife and plans to take a virtual vacation to Mars.
Who He Actually Is: Double agent Hauser, who was at the center of a complicated plot to flesh out a rebel army on Mars that's fighting the planet's tyrannical corporate overlords.
Who Has the Better Life? Quaid's a much nicer guy than the duplicitous Hauser and, honestly, late-'80s Sharon Stone is a better catch than his other main squeeze, Rachel Ticotin, even if she's only pretending to love him.

Martin Harris
From: Unknown
Who He Thinks He Is: A successful biochemist enjoying a working vacation at a conference in Germany with his wife, January Jones.
Who He Actually Is: An assassin whose mission was to infiltrate said conference and kill a professor who is on the cusp of solving the problem of global food shortages by developing a strain of genetically-engineered corn that could survive any weather conditions.
Who Has the Better Life? You get to travel the world killing people and not be married to ice queen January Jones? Yo ho ho, it's an assassin's life for us.

Luke Skywalker
From: The Star Wars trilogy (OT only)
Who He Thinks She Is: The orphaned son of a pilot who navigated a spice freighter during the Clone Wars.
Who He Actually Is: The offspring of a famed Jedi Knight that's still alive... and currently serving as the Emperor's chief enforcer, Darth Vader.
Who Has the Better Life? As traumatic as the discovery that your daddy and chief nemesis are one and the same might be, we'd choose the life of a Jedi over the life of a Tatooine moisture farmer any day.

What are people saying about your favorite shows and stars right now? Find out with Talk Without Pity, the social media site for real TV fans. See Tweets and Facebook comments in real time and add your own -- all without leaving TWoP. Join the conversation now!

Comments

SHARE THE SNARK

X

Get the most of your experience.
Share the Snark!

See content relevant to you based on what your friends are reading and watching.

Share your activity with your friends to Facebook's News Feed, Timeline and Ticker.

Stay in Control: Delete any item from your activity that you choose not to share.

MOST RECENT POSTS

BLOG ARCHIVES

Movies Without Pity

February 2014

1 ENTRIES

January 2014

1 ENTRIES

November 2013

2 ENTRIES

September 2013

1 ENTRIES

August 2013

2 ENTRIES

July 2013

5 ENTRIES

June 2013

2 ENTRIES

May 2013

2 ENTRIES

March 2013

3 ENTRIES

February 2013

3 ENTRIES

January 2013

3 ENTRIES

December 2012

4 ENTRIES

November 2012

2 ENTRIES

October 2012

1 ENTRIES

September 2012

1 ENTRIES

August 2012

6 ENTRIES

July 2012

2 ENTRIES

June 2012

2 ENTRIES

May 2012

2 ENTRIES

April 2012

3 ENTRIES

March 2012

2 ENTRIES

February 2012

2 ENTRIES

January 2012

3 ENTRIES

The Latest Activity On TwOP