BLOGS

Super Bowl XLVII: Judging the Movie Trailers

We critique all the big movie ads that aired during last night's big game, from Iron Man 3 to World War Z.

Fast & Furious 6
What Is It? The sixth (count 'em... six) installment in the apparently endless Fast and the Furious franchise, which this time partners Vin Diesel's outlaw band of racing fiends with Dwayne Johnson's sweaty federal agent.
Best Moment: Diesel's car bursting out of the nose of a fiery plane. Physically impossible? Sure. Totally awesome? You'd best believe it.
Worst Moment: The lack of a cleverer title. C'mon... they couldn't have gone with something like Fast6Furious?
Do We Want to See the Movie? The trailer's promise of all-out "vehicular warfare" (complete with a freakin' tank!) coupled with the fond memories of Fast Five have us primed for this bit of freeway mayhem.



Iron Man 3
What Is It? The third movie about Robert Downey Jr.'s irascible iron-clad superhero and the beginning of Marvel's post-Avengers Phase 2.
Best Moment: Downey's resigned "Oh boy" as he figures out how in the world he's going to rescue thirteen passengers plunging out of a downed airplane when he's only capable of carrying four.
Worst Moment: A plane rescue? Really? Feels kinda Superman Returns-ish doesn't it? We also groaned about having to go to Facebook for a longer look. Just shell out for more airtime, Marvel. You've got all those Avengers bucks anyway.
Do We Want to See the Movie? It's not like we were going to need much convincing, but this 30-second teaser was pretty underwhelming all things considered. Fortunately, Facebook's full-length version had more meat iron to it. Next time, just pay to air the whole thing.



The Lone Ranger
What Is It? Jerry Bruckheimer, Gore Verbinski and Johnny Depp's attempt to recapture that Pirates of the Caribbean magic and apply it to the familiar story of the Old West vigilante (Armie Hammer) and his trusty Native American shaman/sidekick (Depp... yes, you read that right).
Best Moment: We're always up for a spectacular set-piece involving a train, and it looks like Bruckheimer and Verbinski are going to oblige.
Worst Moment: That idiotic "Yes, no, yes, no" routine between Tonto and the Ranger that closes out the teaser. If that's the kind of "comedy" we can expect from the rest of the movie, we're in for a very tedious experience. Like On Stranger Tides tedious.
Do We Want to See the Movie? Not really, no. And this teaser didn't exactly do anything to convince us otherwise, train shenanigans aside.



Oz The Great and Powerful
What Is It? Sam Raimi's massively-budgeted Wizard of Oz prequel, which depicts how a young circus magician (James Franco) becomes the Wizard who a girl named Dorothy will later hear so much about.
Best Moment: The transition from a boxy black-and-white frame to a wide-screen, full color spectacle, which echoes the iconic '39 version.
Worst Moment: The perpetually dazed expression Franco wears on his face throughout. Wizard of Weed is more like it.
Do We Want to See the Movie? Much as we want believe in Raimi, this teaser carries too strong an Alice in Wonderland vibe for comfort.



Snitch
What Is It? Dwayne Johnson adds some drama to his action heroics, playing a dad go agrees to a deep cover DEA assignment in order to save his son from a lengthy prison sentence.
Best Moment: Johnson putting on his best Serious Face when receiving bad news about his son over the phone.
Worst Moment: Exchanges like: "Every move that I make Jason will have to live with for the next ten years of his life!" "And what if you don't live?!" Then again, we've rarely gone to see a Dwayne Johnson flick for the sparkling dialogue.
Do We Want to See the Movie? Meh. At best, it'll be a decent B-picture and we'd rather see Johnson in stuff like this rather than another Tooth Fairy debacle.



Star Trek Into Darkness
What Is It? The movie J.J. Abrams made before Star Wars: Episode VII. Oh yeah... and the sequel to his hugely successful Star Trek reboot.
Best Moment: Anytime Benedict Cumberbatch was onscreen. Doesn't matter if he's actually Khan or not... that guy radiates evil.
Worst Moment: Next to no glimpses of the Enterprise crew besides Kirk and Uhura. Obviously they only had 30 seconds, but we really wanted to know what Chekov was up to.
Do We Want to See the Movie? Without question, although the Star Wars news almost makes Into Darkness seem like ancient history. Now the wait begins until the first Episode VII teaser arrives in time for Super Bowl XLIX (or, depending on production delays, Super Bowl L).



21 and Over
What Is It? An R-rated, alcohol-fueled comedy that should probably be titled: The Hangover: The College Years.
Best Moment: The presence of Miles Teller, who was one of the few redeeming features of the Footloose remake and is apparently pretty great in the Sundance hit, The Spectacular Now.
Worst Moment: Pretty much everything else.
Do We Want to See the Movie? We'll just stick with a double bill of Superbad and Project X, thanks.



World War Z
What Is It? The absurdly troubled Brad Pitt zombie apocalypse movie that may or may not still be shooting its ending.
Best Moment: It was already in an earlier trailer, but that shot of a zombie hoard making a human zombie ladder to scale a giant wall still gives us the chills.
Worst Moment: The stuff with Pitt and his onscreen family doesn't seem particularly promising. Is it mean to hope that he ditches the dead weight at the first opportunity?
Do We Want to See the Movie? We're mainly curious to see to find out whether or not they ever came up with a final act or if the movie just abruptly cuts to black in mid-scene, Sopranos-style.


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