Revenge Robots Revealed

by admin June 9, 2008 2:22 pm
Revenge Robots Revealed

So here's the thing -- after barely keeping things under control following last week's news, my excitement over the next Transformers movie, Revenge of the Fallen, is kicking into overdrive. Something in my brain is getting me all worked up over all this stuff that I'm hearing and seeing, and no amount of Bumblebee urinating on John Turturro in my head seems to help. Oh well, I'm just going to embrace it. So maybe I get severely disappointed later on -- big deal! Welcome to my life.

The first big bit of news is that call sheet that leaked from the set, identifying a new cast member. (Nobody who jumped out at me, because I don't watch The Wire. I do, however, watch DeGrassi.) Apparently, call sheets also have the names of cars and planes on them. Who knew! Transformer vehicles identified as being on set at the Pennsylvania steel plant were Jetfire (an SR-71 Blackbird), Stinger (possibly a Porsche), Wheels (possibly a tiny, remote-controlled truck), Arcee (who combines from either three Can-Am Spyders or two Trikes), the Twins (who merge into an Ice Cream Truck), an unknown Decepticon (an Audi R8), and a "Constructicon Earth Mover." There may also be an Autobot who turns into the Chevy Beat concept car.

Half of that list sounds awesome; half sounds weird and stupid. (Although the Twins makes me think of that Hot Fuzz teaser trailer.) But the Earth Mover could be further evidence of Devastator, the giant robot made up of six Constructicons who was rumored to be in the film. The presence of Devastator is further hinted at by the presence of the other "combiners," including the ice cream truck and...Arcee? Obviously, they wanted Arcee to be the right size for robo-hugging, and a motorcycle has a lot less mass than Optimus Prime's truck mode. So maybe they need three motorcycles to get her to Prime-size? (What might be three holographic riders can be seen here). But even if you're a robot, isn't it weird to hook up with someone who can split into three different pieces? Or is that the hottest thing in the world, and we just aren't sexually liberated enough to admit it? (Shh. I'm doing math in my head.)

New pictures from the Smithsonian Air and Space Museum set show the SR-71 Jetfire -- the Blackbird jet -- who wears a Decepticon symbol and is therefore not the good guy he usually is. There are also pictures of a white jet with an Autobot symbol on it...but that's just Michael Bay's private jet, which I'm sure he painted with the symbol just to fuck with fans. Or because that's what rich people put Autobot logos on when they don't own a fucking Toyota Corolla.

With the exception of that last bit about Bay owning his own plane, all of this has me understandably excited. But there's one more thing that I should know better than to listen to. Bay's title, Revenge of the Fallen, has fans going ape-shit because it has the word "Fallen" in it. Now, I didn't bring this up last time, but yeah, there's a Transformers character called The Fallen -- a character who only appeared in the Dreamwave comic books, and somehow managed to get a toy from Hasbro not too long ago. Probably because he's kind of awesome -- he's one of the original 12 Transformers and he's evil. But I assumed it was just a generic title and that there was no way anybody was going to try to get this guy into the movie. Now, apparently, it's been kinda-sorta confirmed by a dude who knows a dude that it's the same character. Holy crap.

Has there ever been a sequel that got people more excited about the original? This one just might. I could even get to like the peeing.




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