What would Jim Henson think? The company that bears his name is making a Muppet movie for adults. I guess we all have to grow up sometime, but it raises several questions: Does this mean we'll finally get to see what the Great Gonzo does with those chickens? Will Fozzie Bear show us his "wakka-wakka," and will it be funnier than his jokes? Will we discover Bert and Ernie's Rainbow Connection, and will Kermit be depicted putting his pointy lips on some pork loin? Unfortunately, the answer is no. This is not Sesame Street After Dark; instead The Jim Henson company is making a film noir featuring puppets. Somewhere Raymond Chandler is going "What da EFF?!!!"
Happytime Murders will bear the Henson Alternative logo, which I imagine will depict Statler and Waldorf pointing huge Viagra-infused boners at us. The film will feature humans and puppets in a tale of femme fatales and fatal encounters. According to Variety, the plot "centers on a puppet detective forced to solve a string of murders around the Happytime Gang, the cast of a popular children's show." Variety also stresses that the film contains "content created specifically and exclusively for adult audiences." Sounds intriguing, but familiar: Several years ago, prior to getting freaky with Samwise and Frodo (J.R.R. Tolkien's Bert and Ernie), Peter Jackson created the ne plus ultra of disgusting (and hilarious) adult puppet movies. Meet the Feebles was about a kiddie show whose puppet stars dabbled in drugs, murder, STD's and sex in the one orifice no one in their right mind would consider. If Happytime Murders is even remotely as disturbing as that film, Kermy may never be able to show his face in public again.
Coincidentally, this isn't the Jim Henson Company's first foray into adult-oriented films. If you thought Ralph Fiennes looked like a Muppet crossed with a bucket of KFC in The English Patient, it's because Jim Henson's company did his burn makeup. Happy times, indeed.