Somehow, the feature-film adaptation of the Jim Henson Productions TV show Fraggle Rock have ended up in the hands of the writer/director of Hoodwinked, and while we haven't gotten that far down our Netflix queue yet, we're pretty sure this movie will be awful. And now we're even more certain, since the Weinstein Co. has begun to look far and wide for an "edgier" screenplay. Is "edgy" the way to go? How do you make cute children's puppets "edgier," especially the already out-there Fraggles? Here are some ideas.
- All Doozers are fitted with explosive collars. If they try to leave Fraggle Rock, they're violently decapitated.
- Marjorie, the all-knowing trash heap, is just garbage that's achieved sentience via the runoff from a nearby nuclear power plant. Her assistants, Philo and Grunge, used to be ordinary Fraggles, but they were mutated by the radiation.
- Roommates Mokey and Red are revealed to be a lesbian couple. When Pa Gorg catches and kills Mokey, Red allows herself to be killed as well, so they can spend Fraggle eternity together.
- The structures Doozers build are actually made from a concentrated form of radish that acts as a powerful stimulant for Fraggles. Wembley has been snorting crushed Doozer sticks for so long that he perpetually has the shakes.
- Junior Gorg has an unnatural relationship with an oversized radish named "Geraldine."
- Gobo's Uncle Traveling Matt was actually killed by Sprocket the dog not long after leaving Fraggle Rock, and Sprocket's guilt-wracked owner Doc is the one who's been sending Gobo postcards. Gobo gets his revenge by sending a filthy postcard, signed "Your Dearest Doc," to Ned Shimmelfinny's wife next door, prompting Ned to shoot Doc repeatedly.
- Boober is a suicidal depressive, and is eventually found dead in Fraggle Pond. However, the investigating detective is unable to rule out murder, due to the extensive damage to Boober's face.
Pitch us your "edgy" Fraggle movie ideas, then see which children's books received the best film adaptations.
Want to immediately access TWoP content no matter where you are online? Download the free TWoP toolbar for your web browser. Already have a customized toolbar? Then just add our free toolbar app to get updated on our content as soon it's published.