Since I was outnumbered 4 to 1, I had to watch whatever my younger siblings wanted to watch on TV. This meant being tortured by The Dukes of Hazzard and, later on, by Voltron. At least Hazzard had Daisy Duke and car crashes. Voltron had nothing but tiresome repetition and the exact same ending every single episode. My brothers and sister thought this show was Heaven-sent. They even had the (admittedly cool) toy robot that came apart into the five pieces that created Voltron. I dredge up these painful TV memories from my adolescence because, thanks to the Transformers (robots I actually liked), Voltron is now becoming a slightly less expensive CGI-encrusted movie. New Regency has put the Voltron movie in turnaround, and it's getting taken over by developer Relativity Media to be made into a more moderately-budgeted film. (Yeah, that should work out well.)

You'd think that a giant robot from outer space would do better than a regular car at capturing and killing Shia LaBeouf, but the regular car came closer, causing LaBeouf to undergo extensive hand surgery after a July 27 car wreck in which he rolled his Ford F-150 pickup truck. Now, it looks like Transformers: Rise of the Fallen director Michael Bay is going to give the Decepticons the credit after all. La Beouf's mashed fingers will be written -- sorry, "written" -- into the movie so filming can continue.

Cue the distinctive strains of the Twilight Zone theme! According to The Hollywood Reporter, "Warner Bros. and Leonardo DiCaprio's production company Appian Way are in the early stages of seeking material for a feature take on one or more episodes from the classic TV series." They mean the classic classic series with the smooth intros from writer and Zone mastermind Rod Serling, and not the more recent attempts to revive the show for TV. Nor are they "seeking to remake an episodic movie," referring to the 1983 film that comprised four separate stories and made me a just little bit scared of ambulance drivers. And Dan Aykroyd. And Creedence Clearwater Revival.

So how do old franchises that haven't been in the limelight in years but have a new film coming out woo their old audiences back for one more shot at box office success? If you're the studio behind The X-Files, you throw one slam-bang, pretty seriously awesome premiere. 20th Century Fox is hosting what they're calling a Fan Celebration at the world premiere screening of The X-Files: I Want to Believe on July 23rd at Grauman's Chinese Theatre.

Wow, you guys. Even Sarah Jessica isn't above whoring herself for some green. Word is that the woman who was rumored to be against a SATC movie initially because she thought it best to leave well enough alone is on board -- along with the three other ho's -- for a SATC sequel. Everyone has a price, and seeing as the record-breaking blockbuster has grossed damned near $150 million since opening, the whole gang's ready to sell out. Pardon me, but I was just enjoying a respite from the barrage of crazy marketing tie-ins and annoying Carrie Bradshaw wannabes sashaying down my frigging sidewalk. Thanks a lot, Hollywood.

If you were one of the over 52 million viewers who tuned in to see the last episode of Friends, wishing it could go on and on, and were elated when rumors surfaced of a big-screen movie, I have bad news for you: It isn't happening. If, on the other hand, you were one of the over 52 million viewers who tuned in to see the last episode of Friends, just to make sure it was really and truly finally dead, and were annoyed when rumors surfaced of a big screen movie, I have good news for you: It isn't happening!

Bad news, space cadets. The Star Trek Experience in Las Vegas is closing after ten years. You have until September 1 to visit Trekker Mecca (hey, that kinda rhymes!) and get your picture taken on the bridge of the Enterprise. Read our suggestions for a replacement in the Telefile, if you can keep from crying into your Chech'tluth.

Hollywood likes to capitalize on dead horses before the flies start to gather -- look no further than the I Love The New Millenium franchise for proof. The fact that producers waited a full four years after Sex and the City went off the air to flip it for the big screen belied an unusual level of restraint, but it seems to have functioned as a protracted cock-tease -- the film was a rampant success that broke all sorts of records in terms of box office gold for a lady-centric movie.

And now it seems the folks behind Friends are hoping for a similar fate -- rumors have surfaced once again that a silver screen adaptation is in the works.

Celebrity battles with addiction and vice are nothing new. You can't turn on the TV or browse the net without turning up a story about what kind of trouble young actresses are getting themselves into. Some stars are addicted to plastic surgery, or drugs, or have a little touch of the kleptomania. Others are habitual horndogs. Shows like Celebrity Rehab wouldn't exist if addiction didn't run rampant in Hollywood. Well, there's another addiction on the list of dangers celebs face, and it's The Hills.

Finally, another reason to go to Amsterdam! You know, besides the culture. Cinema Expo is happening this week in the Dutch city of sin, and the studios are unraveling their 2008-2009 slates for an international crowd. Here's what's been lighting up the message boards: