This Kiss…Sucks

by Kasey McDonald June 26, 2008 3:46 pm
This Kiss…Sucks

Always wanted to plant one on Angelina Jolie? Have dreams of sucking face with Leonardo DiCaprio? If you the opportunity ever arises, you may want to pass and let your wildest dreams stay just that. In Touch Weekly got the skinny on making out with a number of celebs from their co-stars, and if these actors are to be believed, not a single one was a pleasant experience. (In Touch tells you to pick up a copy of their newest mag on newsstands to read the full listing, but fear not dear readers, Defamer has them all in gory detail.)

Harpo Scoops Them All

by Kasey McDonald May 1, 2008 2:11 pm
Harpo Scoops Them All

Heads are rolling down at TMZ headquarters this morning, I can almost guarantee you. Somehow, some way, at some point in history, Tom Cruise dated Cher and so far as I know, none of the tabloids broke the story. It took Tom Cruise's second stint of sofa sitting on Oprah's couch for that gem of news to pop out of the rough, and I end up reading about it on CNN of all places. All of me, from the responsible part that thinks CNN would do better using its resources sussing out facts and stories on the economy or the war, to the slightly louder part of my personality that is a proud check-out line reader of gossip rag filth, must say: That's not right.

Flop of the Valkyries

by Odie Henderson April 23, 2008 12:04 pm
Flop of the Valkyries

You'd think Ishtar would have convinced celebrities that giving their movies odd names usually guarantees a flop. If the audience isn't sure how to pronounce the movie's title, they're going to opt for something easier to say. Ken Russell once came up with a provocative ad campaign for his dismal mess, Whore, wherein the poster said "if you can't say it, just see it." Perhaps United Artists can use the same tactic when (or should I say if) Tom Cruise's Valkyrie finally opens. What 12-year old boy (and believe me, Hollywood markets everything to 12 year old boys) can pronounce it, let alone knows what a Valkyrie is? Hell, Microsoft Word, which I believe is 12 years old now, doesn't even know. It keeps flagging that word as a typo.

Battle of the Blockbusters: <i>Mission: Impossible — Ghost Protocol</i> and <i>Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows</i>

After the year-end glut of prestige pictures and awards bait, it's kind of a relief to settle in for a pair of high-concept blockbusters that have no greater ambition beyond blowing stuff up real good. That's the mission statement behind Sherlock Holmes: A Game of Shadows and Mission: Impossible -- Ghost Protocol, the second and fourth installments in their respective franchises. The former reunites director Guy Ritchie with Robert Downey Jr. as a strapping, ass-kicking Sherlock and Jude Law as his right hand man/pseudo boyfriend Dr. Watson. The latter matches Pixar wizard Brad Bird (making his live-action directorial debut) with Tom Cruise reprising his role as Ethan Hunt, the Impossible Missions Force's premiere covert agent. Both films emphasize spectacle over story (Ghost Protocol even more so, since several sequences were filmed using IMAX cameras), action over acting and explosions over erudition. But only one of them actually makes good on its promise of escapist entertainment.

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