I Don’t Know How She Does It: And I Don’t Care

by admin September 16, 2011 6:00 am
I Don’t Know How She Does It: And I Don’t Care

A poster child for First World Problems syndrome, I Don't Know How She Does It asks moviegoers to invest in the trials and tribulations of a well-off investment manager who shares a lovely Boston townhouse with her architect husband, their two young children (the eldest of whom attends private school) and a part-time nanny to boot. Considering the troubled state of the economy these days, the amount of privilege on display might be too big a hurdle for some viewers to get over. At the same time though, it's worth remembering that families like this one do still exist in America (in smaller numbers, to be sure) and some of the challenges this particular character faces -- including juggling work and family time, making her marriage work and being there for the kids when they need her -- cut across social and economic divides. Would a movie about an exhausted mom forced to work two jobs in order to support her malnourished kids and out-of-work husband whose unemployment benefits just expired be a more up-to-the-minute reflection of what's going on in the country right now? Of course, but good luck trying to get a major Hollywood studio to greenlight it. If you're in the market for that kind of movie, you're better off waiting until Sundance comes around in January.

Warrior: Gonna Fly Now

by admin September 9, 2011 6:00 am
Warrior: Gonna Fly Now

It's no accident that the best sports movies are also underdog stories. While rooting for dominant winners -- whether it's the Yanks, the Pats or Pacquiao -- is an accepted and even encouraged practice in the real wide, wide world of sports, there's just more drama in cheering on the Rudy's, Rocky's and Bad News Bears' of the big screen. Warrior, the new mixed martial arts film from Gavin O'Connor (who knows a thing or two about rousing underdog tales, having previously directed 2004's Miracle, based on the epic American/Soviet hockey match at the 1980 Olympics) doubles our pleasure of rooting for the little guy by giving us not just one, but two underdogs, both of whom are facing off against each other in the final round of a high-profile MMA tournament hoping to bring home a million-dollar payday. In one corner, you've got Brendan (Joel Edgerton), a former UFC fighter-turned-high school physics teacher that has climbed back into the ring in order to make the necessary extra cash (he's got a sick daughter, see) his public school gig isn't bringing in. And in the other corner, there's Tommy (Tom Hardy), a Marine recently back from the front who intends to turn his winnings over to the widow and children of his dead army buddy. But wait, here's the best part: these guys also happen to be brothers. How can you resist a set-up like that?

Friends With Benefits: Annoying Things Couples Only Do in Movies

Spoiler alert (in case you haven't seen No Strings Attached or any other rom-com in your life): at the end of Friends With Benefits, Justin Timberlake and Mila Kunis are going to fall in love. What's also obvious? All of the annoying, unrealistic crap they're going to do to lead them to that point, which we see all the time in these kinds of movies. Real-life couples don't do things like jump over fences and stand at the Hollywood sign in order to push each other to be daring, as these two fated lovers do in the FWB trailer. And before we begin: We aren't about to shit on the classics, which is why we're going to point out the modern films that ripped off these ideas and made them the pathetic clich├ęs that they've become.

My Bruno Review: It's Complicated

by admin July 9, 2009 11:24 am
My Bruno Review: It's Complicated My feelings about Bruno are very complicated, and to try and condense my opinions about the movie in a few paragraphs is going to be a challenge. But I can tell you that if the goal of this documentary was simply to provoke discussion, it's wildly successful in its attempts. First of all, Sacha Baron Cohen is the bravest person I've ever seen. He puts volatile people in the most confrontational situations imaginable, throwing their worst nightmares in their faces with no mercy, and he never breaks character. He's masterful, like a samurai of conflict, and it's unremittingly impressive. But here's the thing about Bruno: it's a fearless and undeniably successful skewering of bigotry and evil at times, but often it's just a bunch of ridiculous pranks that I would argue don't really say anything conclusive about its subjects.

Knowing: You've Probably Seen All the Good Parts Already This movie weekend is surprisingly balanced with different kinds of movies opening. Great job, Hollywood! High five Ari Gold for me! You've got I Love You, Man for laughing, Duplicity for knowing what a farce not dissimilar to professional espionage that romance is, and Knowing for knowing that the world is an unavoidable ticking time bomb of doom and destruction.

Quick Knowing plot synopsis: Nicolas Cage plays a man of science whose young son digs up a 50-year-old time capsule that predicts the dates and death tolls of impending disasters (because of how worthwhile things are always being put in time capsules) and Cage has to stop something called "The Whisper People" who look like Krycek with a Spike dye job from ending the world. The trailer feels really Shyamalan-y with the whole there's an event happening and a man who sees no meaning in the world is taught that the world is lousy with meaning and he has to get it together to save his family and stop the world from ending thing. But really -- if the damn world is ending and there are supernatural albino fake Kryceks whispering around perpetrating it, what's Captain Corelli's Mandolin going to do about it? Make out with Penelope Cruz and hope the Nazis don't see? If that is the twist ending of the film and I just spoiled it for you I apologize. I should have written that down and put in a time capsule instead. I know that now. I have learned my lesson. Anyway, I watched the whole trailer and this movie looks a lot like these other movies:

81st Academy Awards Nominees Announced, Surprises Abound

Since he wasn't getting a nomination for Vantage Point this year, Oscar winner Forest Whitaker joined Academy president Sid Ganis this morning to help announce the nominees for this year's Academy Awards. And while there were a lot of familiar faces on the list, there were also a few nice surprises. Here's hoping they all show up.

10 Reasons Notorious is Even Less Vital to Your Life Than 8 Mile Was

With rare exceptions (like Control and, oh, I don't know, the masterpiece that is Selena), biopics are usually just straightforward, throwaway, lie-filled award bait. That's all fine and harmless, but it still doesn't change the fact that almost every single biopic is exactly the same, and that the marketing for each of them doesn't even remotely try to disguise this. Which is weird, because it's not like the moviegoing public as a whole is like, devoted to the "humble beginnings/wows a label guy on a chance meeting/gets famous/fame ruins his life/is redeemed at the end" formula or anything. Certainly not in the way they are with romantic comedy and horror conventions, anyway. But hey, I'm not a focus group runner, so I can't be sure.

SAG Awards Nominations: Cate Blanchett's Gonna Shiv Somebody! The SAG Awards are fun because they're light and fluffy and just about acting and not any real movie jobs like writing or directing. On the other hand, who gives a shit about acting? Anyway, several people were nominated for this award today, and almost all of them are quite famous. I'm here to tell you who and what's what about it.

Kevin Smith Makes More Pornos?

by admin October 31, 2008 3:53 pm
Kevin Smith Makes More Pornos?

So Kevin Smith's newest movie, Zack and Miri Make a Porno, is about two friends who make a porno to earn some cash. Seems simple enough, and since we've got nothing but time on our hands and dirty thoughts running through our minds, we got to wondering what it would be like if all Kevin Smith's films were porn films instead of the slightly perverse films that they are. In some cases, it really wasn't that hard. (Haha... we said hard.)

The Dirtiest Non-Porn Movie Titles Ever

by admin September 4, 2008 4:41 pm
The Dirtiest Non-Porn Movie Titles Ever

Yes, we know it's the name of a city in Thailand. Yes, we realize that the phrase could easily refer to the hazards of being a professional hitman in that city, or perhaps that section of the city where it simply isn't safe to go walking late at night. Still, we can't help but snicker every time we hear the film title Bangkok Dangerous, because it sounds like someone is engaging in risky sexual practices with a Thai hooker. Also, we're, like, 13 years old, emotionally. Anyway, the release of the Pang Brothers' remake of their own 1999 film of the same name got us thinking about other movie titles that make us giggle like 7th-graders for their sexual innuendo. Here are the ten most titter-inducing that aren't actually pornographic films.

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