Drag Me to Hell Review: It is Very Awesome.

by Mindy Monez May 28, 2009 12:40 pm
<I>Drag Me to Hell</I> Review: It is Very Awesome. I feel I should start out this review with a little PSA: If you scare easily, do not allow your vindictive gorehound friends to sweet-talk you into going to this movie. It ain't frickin' Gothika. It's a horror film made for horror fans by somebody who knows what he's doing. It will scare the living shit out of you if you're not properly desensitized to this type of thing. And for the rest of us? It's still effectively scary! I jumped in my seat, I laughed a lot, I thought I might vomit a few times -- to sum it up, I had a fantastic time. This is the measure of a successful horror film, friends.

S. Darko: Fan Fiction Captured on Film

by Zach Oat May 15, 2009 12:22 pm
<i>S. Darko</i>: Fan Fiction Captured on Film

If I were a film director, I would be sticking references to other films into my movies all over the place. They would be films I admired, mostly, which means that somewhere, sometime, I would probably put in a reference to Donnie Darko, a personal favorite. Now, imagine that somebody made a movie that was entirely Donnie Darko references. Would it be a sequel to Donnie Darko? A tribute? A fan fiction? Considering that S. Darko stars Daveigh Chase as the grown-up version of her D. Darko character, Samantha from Sparkle Motion, the movie is obviously trying to be a sequel, but the only thing that separates this from fan fiction is that somebody gave the director Briana Evigan, Ed Westwick and a lot of money and let him make it into a movie.

<i>Observe & Report</i>: Paul Blart Can Kiss Seth Rogen’s Sizable Ass

Yes, Observe & Report is the second comedy about a mall security guard to come out this year (a fact Seth Rogen savagely mocked in his SNL monologue). However, if Paul Blart: Mall Cop was the Die Hard of mall security guard comedies (plotwise, at least), then Observe & Report is the Taxi Driver, and while I love me some Die Hard, O&R is infinitely more disturbing, and satisfying, and disturbingly satisfying. Depending on where your personal line is, this movie may not cross it, exactly, but it certainly walks up to the line and tasers you from a safe distance.

John Cena: The New Jason Statham?

by Mindy Monez March 23, 2009 4:05 pm
John Cena: The New Jason Statham? We're huge fans of Jason Statham around here, so I'm not asking this question lightly. It's just that, as Jason Statham makes more movies and becomes more and more deservedly well-known, after a while he's not exclusively ours anymore. Which is awesome, because The Statham should be the biggest action star on the planet, and I can't wait for that. But everyone seems to be in on the Jason Statham joke now (including him by the way, because he's amazing), so, like I did when Old School propelled Will Ferrell from the Palomino-loving lunatic doctor only a few people I knew quoted outside of his W. sketches to the giant comedy star everyone on the planet loved, I think it's time to let The Statham go off to college to discover himself while I take a new under-appreciated star under my bloggy wing. I've been thinking hard on this, and I've decided my new favorite might just be this John Cena character. Let's discuss this important matter after the jump.

Knowing: You’ve Probably Seen All the Good Parts Already

by Mindy Monez March 18, 2009 12:50 pm
<I>Knowing</I>: You’ve Probably Seen All the Good Parts Already This movie weekend is surprisingly balanced with different kinds of movies opening. Great job, Hollywood! High five Ari Gold for me! You've got I Love You, Man for laughing, Duplicity for knowing what a farce not dissimilar to professional espionage that romance is, and Knowing for knowing that the world is an unavoidable ticking time bomb of doom and destruction.

Quick Knowing plot synopsis: Nicolas Cage plays a man of science whose young son digs up a 50-year-old time capsule that predicts the dates and death tolls of impending disasters (because of how worthwhile things are always being put in time capsules) and Cage has to stop something called "The Whisper People" who look like Krycek with a Spike dye job from ending the world. The trailer feels really Shyamalan-y with the whole there's an event happening and a man who sees no meaning in the world is taught that the world is lousy with meaning and he has to get it together to save his family and stop the world from ending thing. But really -- if the damn world is ending and there are supernatural albino fake Kryceks whispering around perpetrating it, what's Captain Corelli's Mandolin going to do about it? Make out with Penelope Cruz and hope the Nazis don't see? If that is the twist ending of the film and I just spoiled it for you I apologize. I should have written that down and put in a time capsule instead. I know that now. I have learned my lesson. Anyway, I watched the whole trailer and this movie looks a lot like these other movies:

Revelation Row: A Spoiler-Filled Review of <i>Watchmen</i>‘s Greatest Triumphs (And Biggest Misses)

Already well on its way to becoming the most divisive work in geek history, Zack Snyder's film adaptation of Watchmen, the most revered comic book of all time, may best be approached as a giant -- you guessed it -- Rorschach test: you either see a pretty butterfly, or you see a dog with its head split in half. The naysayers are certainly out there in force, in both the mainstream publications and the fanboy blogs, and I don't begrudge them their sometimes valid, often contradictory, occasionally deeply flawed points of view. All I can do is report that when I gazed at this dense, two-hour-and-forty-minute-long inkblot of a movie, I saw the butterfly -- I saw a brilliantly realized, richly textured pop-fiction spectacle; candy for both the eye and the brain. Is this theatrical version a perfect cinematic treatment of Watchmen? No, and I'll explain why below. But in the final analysis, seeing this beloved story come to life in a completely fresh, unexpected way gave me the same sensation I felt when I first read it in its original single-issue form over 20 years ago: pure astonishment, quickly followed by a burning desire to experience it again and again. Nothing ever ends.

Michael Cera’s Arrested Development Contract Revealed!

by Lauren Gitlin February 25, 2009 3:56 pm
Michael Cera’s <i>Arrested Development</i> Contract Revealed! It's official: the Arrested Development movie is happening! After months of hemming and hawing from one Michael Cera (aka George Michael Bluth), the lone player refusing to sign on to the film, homeboy has finally agreed to do the damn thing. (Mitchell Hurwitz said he wouldn't move forward on a script unless he had all of the original cast members on board.) Over the course of these last tortured months, I found myself asking what the hell was going on with young Mr. Cera. Since when do retiring milquetoast hipsters turn into demanding divas that hold up production of a movie fans have been campaigning for since the beloved show got canceled? Why would Cera, whose public persona has always been affably awkward, essentially bad-mouth the show that made him a star? And you think you know a person. I've pieced together the hellishly demanding terms of his contract in the hopes of revealing MC's true nature.

NY Comic Con 2009: <i>Supernatural</I> Sweetie Tackles <i>Friday the 13th</I>‘s Jason

Okay, maybe "tackles" is a slight exaggeration. Here was the situation: In a massive auditorium at the Jacob Javits Center, a really idiotic woman got up to ask a question. While everyone else had somewhat interesting queries for Jared Padalecki (presumably the hero), Derek Mears (Jason) and producers Brad Fuller and Andrew Form, one woman was clearly there only because of the dreaminess that is Padalecki (and no... it wasn't me. I swear). She stood in front of a crowd of fans who had just enthusiastically cheered for the very brutal and somewhat impressively disgusting first five minutes of Friday the 13th that were screened and admitted she wasn't a horror fan. This caused Mears to faux-storm off the panel and Padalecki to chase after him, physically stop him from running off and calm him down. It was much more hysterical than it sounds.

81st Academy Awards Nominees Announced, Surprises Abound

by Zach Oat January 22, 2009 9:44 am
81st Academy Awards Nominees Announced, Surprises Abound

Since he wasn't getting a nomination for Vantage Point this year, Oscar winner Forest Whitaker joined Academy president Sid Ganis this morning to help announce the nominees for this year's Academy Awards. And while there were a lot of familiar faces on the list, there were also a few nice surprises. Here's hoping they all show up.

Movie Predictions For 2009: Not As Crazy As They Sound

by Tippi Blevins December 30, 2008 11:31 am
Movie Predictions For 2009: Not As Crazy As They Sound If we look carefully at the movie trends of 2008, it's not hard to make a few predictions for the year ahead. Sure, some of these may seem kind of crazy, or maybe they sound flat-out impossible. But just remember these seven words: Steven Soderbergh to direct Cleopatra rock musical. Anything can happen, so get in on the ground floor of these predictions while you can!

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