Not being a fan of the first Transformers movie (likely due to my impossibly high expectations), I expected more of the same from the second one. I read every negative review, I followed every racism story and I hung on every testicle reaction, and through all of this, I managed to lower my expectations to a level that I had until now thought impossible. Then I actually saw Transformers: Revenge of the Fallen. And, having accepted that the plot would make no sense, and that most of the robots would not be given personalities, and that I was going to have to spend a lot of time at college with Shia LaBeouf, I actually found myself kinda enjoying it. Transformers movie defenders have always told me "you have to turn your brain off," but the closest I managed to get was to give my brain a set of pre-existing conditions -- in this case, that Transformers movies are usually horrible. With this in mind, I was able to sit back and relax, and I can now objectively tell you the ten things that made Transformers: ROTFL better than its predecessor. Warning, spoilers abound!

It's a well-known fact to anyone within earshot of my office that I didn't like the first Transformers movie. In addition to an apparent hatred of the original cartoon, I thought it showed a hatred of humanity, from the robot characters' utter disregard for human lives to the human characters' lack of anything resembling real emotion to, yes, the peeing-on-John-Turturro incident. (No, I will not let it go. John Turturro is a national treasure.) So seeing all of the cool-looking new robots in the trailer for Revenge of the Fallen (Devastator! Ravage! The Fallen!) has my insides churning like Devastator's sand-hole. Could it possibly be good, thereby redeeming the original film and, in fact, the entire Michael Bay film library in my eyes? Doubtful. But the robots certainly look awesome. We gathered as much information as we could about the new robots and got some updates on the four returning primaries for a gallery we like to call Robot Roll Call! Check it out here, and let us know what you think of the movie below.

David Carradine is dead, and I feel guilty. I had nothing to do with it, of course; it happened in Thailand, and I'm in New York, as far as you or the authorities know. But I feel guilty nonetheless. Why? Because I have not seen nearly enough David Carradine movies. In fact, I have seen very few. How few? Three. And two of those are Kill Bill.

When did it get cool to not like Will Ferrell? It seems like a growing number of people (including a few inside the TWoP offices) have had enough of him. Now, I'm not saying all of his movies have been great -- I still have not met anyone who saw Semi-Pro -- but a lot of them make me laugh just thinking about them. The mental image of Ferrell running around thinking he's on fire in Talladega Nights, putting his scrotum on the drum kit in Step-Brothers, or screaming in a phone booth in Anchorman is enough to make me at least chuckle. Maybe that makes me some sort of dimwit. I don't know. But I certainly don't think I'm a "Ferrell follower," or part of some Ferrell-worshipping cult. I just like things that are funny.

When we used to watch the Land of the Lost TV show as children, we thought it was the greatest TV show ever made. (Shows what we knew.) Now, with the big-budget movie remake stalking theaters, we're noticing that it bears more than a slight resemblance to what we currently think of as one of the greatest TV shows ever made -- one that's also about time travel and monsters and scientists. That's right, we're talking about Lost. Could the creators of Lost have been inspired by the original 1970s Land of the Lost TV series? Or did a VHS tape of Lost fall down a wormhole and end up inspiring Sid and Marty Krofft back in the 1970s? We compare the movie and the two shows to try and piece together the timeline in our Land of the Lost vs. Lost Gallery!

The backstory of the Terminator film franchise is filled with enough time-jumps to drown a McFly and will not be recapped here, but the quality of its installments can be summarized by each film's robot antagonist. The classic, relentless T-800 hunted Sarah Connor in the enduring original Terminator. The cold, shiny T-1000 shape-shifted through the sleek and stylish Judgment Day. And the cleavage-enhanced, mixed-bag hybrid T-X did whatever she did in the muddled mess that was Rise of the Machines. So what does it say that the primary robot foes in the newest installment, Terminator: Salvation, are shuffling, outdated T-600s that are constantly shooting at things and wear shreds of clothing and skin in a failed attempt to look human? Probably nothing good.

If I were a film director, I would be sticking references to other films into my movies all over the place. They would be films I admired, mostly, which means that somewhere, sometime, I would probably put in a reference to Donnie Darko, a personal favorite. Now, imagine that somebody made a movie that was entirely Donnie Darko references. Would it be a sequel to Donnie Darko? A tribute? A fan fiction? Considering that S. Darko stars Daveigh Chase as the grown-up version of her D. Darko character, Samantha from Sparkle Motion, the movie is obviously trying to be a sequel, but the only thing that separates this from fan fiction is that somebody gave the director Briana Evigan, Ed Westwick and a lot of money and let him make it into a movie.

By now, even jaded, nit-picky Star Trek fans have decided to either like the new movie along with the rest of the world or dislike it just to be contrary. Whichever you've chosen for yourself, congratulations! You either are or are not, in the Vulcan parlance, a dickhead. Now we can set about the business of figuring out which actors we want to join this merry band in the next installment. There's only a few more crew members left to show, but there are plenty of rogues, aliens and monsters to cast! Here's who we wanna make a stardate with.

If you like Star Trek, then it seems like somebody wants you to get out to Best Buy or Blockbuster this week, since there are a ton of DVD releases catering to lovers of sci-fi and fantasy. And Charlie Sheen, who's kind of a combination of both! Plus, Liam Neeson's biggest movie since The Phantom Menace.

Warning: This review contains spoilers.

1 Kirk
2 Spocks
12 facial tattoos
1 Simon Pegg
1 McCoy impersonator
3 black holes
1 Cloverfield monster
1 green woman in her underwear

Stir vigorously for 126 minutes.