The Interweb is all abuzz today with news of a Father Knows Best movie in the works at Fox/New Regency. Will the new script dissect the show's oft-criticized paternalism, or skew its overly-rosy view of American life? Nope -- it's going to have a wacky grandpa! Apparently the original plot is going by the wayside in favor of a new dad fighting with his more conservative, live-in father over parenting style, which sounds just hilarious. After all, it's easy to remake these classic TV shows as movies, right? Hmmm... Read on to relive the worst '50-'60s TV reboots ever to appear on the silver screen, and take a gander at some remake ideas we'd rather sit through...

Lee Falk's comic strip about a seemingly immortal jungle hero and foe of pirates got an entertaining serial in the 1940s. In 1996, Billy Zane put on a purple body suit for his turn as Kit "The Phantom" Walker. (Did that movie really only come out in 1996? Doesn't it seem like it came out in like 1988 or something?) Now the story is getting a reboot from scriptwriter Tim Boyle, whose credits up till now include movies you've likely never seen. Do The Plex and Fink! ring a bell for you? No? Yeah, same here. An Australian production company has secured the rights for Falk's tale, and expects the budget to be $87 million. Ironically, they will have to become pirates to get the money.

New Line is getting musical-happy. The studio, who just announced they were planning a sequel to last year's hit, Hairspray, have won a studio bidding war for the rights to the rock musical Rock of Ages, an off-Broadway show that pairs '80s rock ballads with an on-stage love story (a la Mamma Mia!) that's currently rocking out in New York.

Josh Brolin seems to be having some trouble deciding once and for all whether or not to take the role of comic book antihero Jonah Hex. Last month, it seemed like the deal was all but done, with Brolin beating out Hex hopeful Thomas Jane for the part. Then just weeks later, he answered both "Nope," and "Don't know yet," when Collider asked him if he'd be doing the movie. He also detailed some of the thought process that goes into his decisions when it comes to picking roles. To spare you a case of mental whiplash, here's a summary: He asks himself a bunch of questions, second-guesses himself and others, then gets a little embarrassed by the whole thing. Now comes the latest news that writers/directors Mark Neveldine and Brian Taylor have dropped out of directing due to "creative differences."

As I was making my way around the internets a few days after the election, reading all the articles on the historic vote, I came across one in the Washington Post about an African-American man by the name of Eugene Allen, who had worked as a butler in the White House for 35 years, starting his job in 1952. At the time, he wasn't even allowed to use the public restrooms in his native Virginia because of the color of his skin, and he and his now-86-year-old wife had talked about how amazing it was that America was on the brink of electing a black man as President. The article, a superbly written piece which ended with the devastating news that Eugene had cast his ballot alone on November 4th, as his wife had died a day before the election, was just picked up by Columbia pictures and will be made into a movie that will tell Eugene's life story.

We've got writers! We've got directors! We've got... well, writers and directors, mostly. First up, there is the long-awaited news about talent being attached to First Avenger: Captain America. Sadly, the acting talent question remains a mystery, but The Chronicles of Narnia scribes Christopher Markus and Stephen McFeely (a name I will henceforth be calling the handsy guy on my Saturday morning bus) have been attached to pen the script for director Joe Johnston. As most know, the Captain America story is that of rejected army candidate Steve Rogers who undergoes an experiment that gives him enhanced strength and reflexes. And of course, an indestructible shield. The film will be set during World War II, after which the character will then appear in the modern-day set Avengers film, which will come out in May of 2011. I don't know if the weird time-space continuum that links Narnia with our world and makes time pass differently is going to help them, there. Should be interesting.

If you like your comic books with a little primetime soapy action that the Parents Television Council disapproves of, prepare to get excited: Josh Schwartz, the creator and executive producer of Gossip Girl, Chuck and The OC has just been tapped to write the next film in the X-Men franchise, X-Men: First Class. Though 20th Century Fox is keeping mum on details of the project, word has it that the film will focus on the students of Xavier's Institute for Higher Learning and could bring back some prominent characters from some of the previous X-Men films, like Rogue, Iceman, Angel and some not-so-prominent blink-and-you'd-miss-them characters like Colossus, Jubilee and Shadowcat.

It's like someone asked a Magic 8-Ball about new movies on the horizon and the answer came back, "All signs point to geeky." That's good news if you're a big ol' science fiction geek like me, or at least it's news that'll keep you busy with chatter, predictions of doom and fantasy casting wishlists. Coming up are Bill & Ted in the Matrix, giant robots, alien invasions, and trigger-happy monkeys.

If you're a zombie fan, hopefully you took some time away from watching Romero films over the last couple of years to read a book -- specifically, World War Z. The "survivors' account" of the First Zombie War talks to veterans and victims from every continent who recount how humanity made it through a global outbreak of the undead. J. Michael Straczynski (the cartoon and comic book writer who wrote Changeling) penned a screenplay based on the novel by Max Brooks (son of Mel Brooks and Anne Bancroft), and the result was a reportedly fantastic script. Well, now the project has a fantastic director: Marc Forster, whose Quantum of Solace just opened with the biggest weekend take of any James Bond film ever, so everyone who thinks that he's some kind of a hack who ruined the Bond franchise, you can rest assured that he won't be coming back for another installment, you big babies.

Clint Eastwood is in talks to direct Hereafter for DreamWorks, reports Variety. The movie, described as a "supernatural thriller", was one of the properties Steven Spielberg took with him as part of the divorce settlement from Paramount Pictures, and it could end up with all the right ingredients for something great. First, of course, there's Eastwood as a possible director. Then there's the spec script by Peter Morgan, who also penned the screenplay for Frost/Nixon, which is racking up the critical praise before it's even released. Finally there's the subject matter -- who doesn't love a good psychological thriller? Here's where it gets a little iffy, though: Although "[p]lot details are being kept under wraps," it's being compared to The Sixth Sense. What are they thinking?