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Mark Wahlberg News Round-Up: <i>The Fighter,</i> <i>SNL</i> and <i>The Departed 2</i>

Mark Wahlberg has been out promoting Max Payne over the weekend, and in the process making -- and breaking -- a lot of news.

- In a Q&A with ComingSoon.net, Wahlberg said that Darren Aronofsky's The Fighter might not be happening at all, much to Wahlberg's disappointment (and ours). Wahlberg says he's not going to stop training for the tale of real-life boxer Mickey Ward (whom Wahlberg was to play), but that he's doubtful it will happen now, but he wouldn't elaborate, saying it's "too depressing to talk about." Maybe the reason is that Brad Pitt's no longer involved. (I have to wonder: Does Pitt have something against Aronofsky, because he keeps signing up for his movies and lending them a high profile, then dropping out. The Fountain recovered with Hugh Jackman, but sounds like The Fighter might not.

- In that same interview with ComingSoon, Wahlberg also discussed his upcoming movie Cocaine Cowboys (based on the documentary about the Miami drug trade in the 1970s and '80s) and mentioned the possibility of sequels to The Italian Job and The Departed. Seriously.

- In another Q&A, this one with the New York Post, Wahlberg said he has no sense of humor. Oh, wait, that's not exactly what he said. He said he doesn't like Andy Samberg making fun of his stilted speech pattern on Saturday Night Live with the "Mark Wahlberg Talks to Animals" skit. Specifically, Wahlberg told the Post, "It wasn't like Tina Fey doing Sarah Palin, that's for sure. And Saturday Night Live hasn't been funny for a long time." On one hand, yeah, it isn't like Tina Fey doing Sarah Palin, because it's not at all relevant. On the other hand, come on, Mark, have a sense of humor.

- Speaking of senses of humor, Wahlberg said in a Q&A with Metromix that "hell would have to freeze over" before we'd see a Marky Mark and the Funky Bunch reunion. Or "the market would have to crash another 50,000 points." Hey, Mark, we have retirement plans in the stock market; please don't tempt fate. Furthermore, he also told Contact Music that he won't do music again, period, and he's even "trying to destroy the evidence" of his former musical life. So, he's embarrassed of his past, and he can't laugh at other people making jokes about him. Well, maybe he shouldn't be famous then, because I have news for him: People will make fun of celebrities' and their mistakes. There are, in fact, entire industries dedicated to doing just that.

- Finally, Wahlberg told Collider that because of his "strained relationship with the studio," the role he was up for in Smoke Jumpers went to Jason Patric instead. I know it's shocking that Patric would win any role that Wahlberg also wanted, but he says so himself (you can even watch video of the interview). So it will be Patric! Norton! Chase! when the movie hits theaters. Oh, right, it won't actually hit theaters, because this is all a joke. The movie is the latest Vincent Chase starring vehicle in HBO's Wahlberg-produced Entourage. As a producer on the show, though, you'd think Wahlberg would have had an edge.

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