Like a lady going through the seemingly endless agony of contractions and finally squeezing out a ten-pound screaming baby, filmmakers are finally birthing Labor Pains. The film had encountered trouble when Capitol Films faced a "cash crunch," according to Variety, placing it in "limbo" for a time. This is the same difficulty that affected Nailed last month, but Labor picked up new financing at Cannes thanks to Nu Image/Millennium Films Overnight Productions. (The name just rolls off the tongue, doesn't it?) Now with production set to begin next week, they've announced that Lindsay Lohan has signed on to star.
Lohan knows a few things about the roller coaster ride that is Hollywood, so it seems fitting that the troubled film and the troubled star would find each other. Fresh from her guest stint on Ugly Betty, Lohan will be playing an assistant at a "stuffy publishing house." When the threat of unemployment looms, she "pretends to be pregnant" in order to keep from being fired by her evil boss. Because pregnant women never get fired, right? The plot sounds like one part The Devil Wears Prada, one part Baby Mama, and one part homage to the sitcom fakery of shows like Three's Company. Maybe to create a "baby bump" she can roll up someone's fur coat and stuff it under her blouse.
Even an actor's strike won't affect production, as SAG has given the film permission to continue regardless, because Nu Image/Millennium is an indie company. The only real trouble Labor might face now would come from its star. So, note to Lindsay: Go to bed at a respectable hour every night, keep the partying to a minimum, and ease up on the orange tanner just a little.
That last one's got nothing to do with the success or failure of the movie, but it's not bad advice.
To read about Lindsay's mom's new reality series, click here!