Finally, the guilty pleasure event of the year has arrived in Burlesque. Glitter and Showgirls are shaking in their butterfly tattoos. Highly dangerous drinking games will soon be spawned. Theme parties will eventually be thrown for the DVD release. Aspiring sluts you know will dress up as these characters for Halloweens to come. It is, to put it mildly, a major pop cultural deal. Or maybe not! Who knows if anybody will even see it? It could be the Snakes on a Plane of whore movies -- bloggers obsess over it, but nobody else in their right mind gives a hell about it. All I know is that I saw it, and it melted my face off with an atomic blast of Tucci-scented Lucite. So let's discuss all the ways in which this movie does not disappoint.